Writing Lessons from My Favorite Little Man
Today is Demon Baby's birthday . . . Hereafter, just to be referred to as "DB" (as he has graduated to Dynamo-Boy). Last night, I hugged him and said, "Five years ago, I was hugely preggers and waiting to meet you. You were in my belly." To which, he replied (I swear), "I was never in your belly." To which I replied, "You were. Even though it's hard to believe." I thought to myself, Is it time to go through the 'talk,' again? But no, he simply said, "I was on Demon Island. I was waiting to be chosen by a mom. You were it."
As a f/t writer, and a f/t mom of four . . . I learn life lessons every day. I also learn writing lessons. So in honor of my beloved, challenging, brilliant, frustrating, mischievous, sweet, hard-rock/punk loving, pirate of the high seas and king of my heart, I give you my favorite writing lessons learned from mothering a very special child.
1. Sometimes, you have to seek a little serenity, get lost in your art, and find a quiet place and quiet companion, in order to write. This isn't easy for me since DB ALWAYS finds me. But I'm working on carving out some peaceful time.
2. Sometimes, when the writing isn't going so well, it's good to go run around the yard and scream for a bit. The day this photo was taken, it was 40 degrees out and DB was barefoot and refused to put on shoes. This I would NOT recommend, but go ahead and howl at the moon if you need to.
3. When creating a villain, go ahead and be clever about it. Have him fool the world with his sweet looks and charming nature, but then . . . when your back is turned . . . let him have a maniacal gleam in his eyes.
4. Sometimes, you can try all you want to wrangle a character. But sometimes, they are going to do their own thing. As a pacifist, I brought DB with me to the Washington Mall to protest war. We marched. I gave him a sign. We chanted. I thought I was raising a peace-loving little man, destined to be a hippie, or maybe another classical musician in the family. Instead, he quickly showed an affinity for Rage Against the Machine, the Ramones, the Clash, and Lou Reed. Now, I can't fault his music taste, but he also has an obsession with Ninjas, swordfighting, dragons, and pirates. If it's untamed? He loves it. Characters are a lot like that. They have their own minds and forcing them to be anything but who they are is usually futile.
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So have a pirate-filled, dragon-breathing sort of day today. And please share . . . what writing lessons have you learned from . . . life
34 comments:
Happy birthday to your DB. Our kids birthdays remind us of all the best kinds of things -- the past and future all wrapped up with a bow and probably some giggles.
Amy:
:-)
And that time flies!
Happy Birthday to Dynamo-Boy.
Things I've learned: there is grace and joy fighting villains with swords.
(To whit: When my boys were about oh, 5 and 7, I was working at the kitchen table and when I looked up, they were creeping down the hallway, backs to the wall, light sabers in hand, ready to fight the Sith. What more can you ask for in life?)
Sometimes you play, sometimes you organize. My oldest son is the one, when there were a group of kids over, who would eventually organize everyone into a game or a team, or make up games for everyone to play.
Creativity can be only a step away. This one I learned from my nephew, now a 2nd grade teacher in Texas. One of his creative spins was to play wiffle ball--but put a slip-n-slide between the bases and you had to slide into base. What a genius.
Thanks, Richmond--you are one of his pirate faves thanks to the Scrabble set. :-)
Mark:
I love (!) your examples. :-) And actually, even DB's story of waiting on Demon Island for a mom . . . so clever. I love those moments.
Happy birthday DB!
Five already. I went to the doctor one time when my son was that age, and when I got home he ran outside and greeted me as I got out of my truck. He hugged me and said, "I knew you were going to be all right."
He was worried about me.
He taught me, and continues to teach me, about love, and I don't think I would be much of a writer without that.
Happy B-Day, DB! I love, love, love the picture of him painting and kitty watching. Precious. Each day brings us something new and it's up to us to 'see' it.
Awesome post. I think sometimes we need to be reminded to howl at the moon.
I used to step out on the back deck with my kids and we'd howl at the full moon. (the neighbors loved it!)
Now the kids are grown and dh refuses to howl with me. Sometimes I need to remember to howl on my own.
I totally just LOL'd at the name Demon Baby...omg.
and...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DB!
Happy Birthday, Demon Baby. I hope you all have a wonderful day, full of pirates and ninjas and chocolate cake :-)
Happy Birthday, DB!
What I've learned from having kids: five-year-olds rule because they give me an excuse to roll around on the floor, make turkey noises, and use gibberish as part of my regular vocabulary. Also, their bellies and noses taste excellent.
Jude;
We wouldn't be much as writers OR people without it. :-)
Magolla:
That is one of my fave shots.
Jonathon:
He has his own blog. I have had to replace whole ceilings, have had to pry him loose from a gallon of syrup that he coated the kitchen table with and then skated in his socks and a flannel set of pjs . . . only to fall and get stuck like a fly to flypaper . . . I have had assorted plastic bottles of syrup and ketchup explode on impact (he likes dropping things from the second story landing a la David Letterman) . . . I've had worms in my wine glass, and jars of dirt just about everywhere. I've had ceiling fans fall out of the ceiling (an unfortunate incident with buckets of water) . .. he's fed the dogs Raisin Bran, put my diamond ring in the dog's water bowl . . . I could go on. And on. And on. But you get the idea.
www.demonbabyandme.blogspot.com
E
Never give up playing. Writing is playing. My 11 year old, nearly as tall as me, has Star Wars critters scattered all across his floor. Other moms of kids his age are donating closets full of toys, but not this mom. I hope he plays with that stuff until he goes to college! (He claims he'd like to write and he loves to make up stories when he plays.)
Our kids birthdays are very close, but 3 years apart! (Monday for my 8 yr old.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Starbucks:
My 12-year-old "plays" now by making amazing videos . . . and I love how creative kids can be. Amen to playing until college! What's the rush to grow up?
Big Happy Birthday DB! Live up toy your name.
I often learn a few things from my son. And there are times when I think he plans things to irritate me.
But, as my Dad said this morning, "At least your son wasn't on the news last night."
Allen:
Yeah. There are definitely news stories and parental tales that help me put LOTS of things in perspective. Helping my friend with her daughter's death . . . when I wake up in the morning, I take the silence to thank God for healthy children. Truly. Thank the universe.
I found your comments about untamed characters the most true.
I suspect some of the greatest characters in literature started out as minor players and refused to be held down.
Joe:
I honestly like to think so. :-)
Yeah, but he was talking about me.
Hmm, what have I learned from life? So far, it's been the basics. Heros and Theives, and what not. I'm so young it can be hard to define what life has taught me about writing, since life is always teaching me things as I grow.
But...I think that in rediscovering Piper, I've learned that sometimes things(dreams, characters, your heart) need to go underground in order to servive, in order to live again later.
Lurker Monkey:
Tasty, indeed.
Happy birthday to Dynamo Boy. Great new name.
I have the best son. I've learned courage from watching him and to keep my sense of humor. You need both of those for this business.
Happy Birthday, DB.
Happy Birthday to DB... He looks and sounds like a really sweet and intelligent kid! Congrats! Don't have kids of my own yet, but I can imagine how much they influence your life. :)
Happy Birthday DB! I love those pictures.
My son video taped himself peeing yesterday. The writing lesson that I learned? Sometimes it's best to only allude to a scene, and not take a reader through that door.
(The video camera was proudly passed around for viewing to all the kids in the house--everyone had a friend over--before I realized what was on it. I'm sure to get a call from a few moms.)
But, once again, Happy Birthday, DB.
Hey, check your website email.
:)!!!!!!
Awww! Happy Birthday to Dynamo-Boy! :-)
My students, both young and old, have taught me how to learn. And they showed me all the ways we become our own worst enemy, how to get peak performance, all sorts of wonderful stuff like that.
Truly the most useful things I've learned in my whole life.
Happy birthday DB! What a beatiful post. We could all use lessons like these.
Love these lessons! Happy Birthday DB!! We're only two weeks apart - we rock!!
My writing lesson for life would be something along these lines - some days you might fall down and skin your knees. But brush yourself off and keep going. Even if the knees scar, you'll have a pretty cool story to tell. :)
I love this post! heeee
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