After All This Time
Last night, talking to my mom about their moving in with me (they are in packing mode to bring the rest of their stuff), I commented on two things that I have found to be true. One . . . every time you make plans, the Universe comes along with more curveballs than you know how to swing at. I would never have guessed--in both good and bad ways--what my life journey has been. My second comment was how, after four kids and "all this time," I know all parents live in glass houses and should not throw stones. There is no childhood unscathed, no parent who is perfect, no guarantee that all the love in the world is going to produce anything but another imperfect (yet wonderful) human being. Every time I meet someone who thinks as a parent, they have it all figured out, I look at the sky and wait for the thunderbolt to hit them.
But you come to these various realizations over time. I'll never figure life out. None of us will. Just when I think I am in a place where I sort of know how I feel and what I believe . . . something comes along to mess it up. And then I realize, Ah-ha! That's life. It's the long haul. Maybe in the end the ONLY thing you figure out is . . . you don't figure anything out, so the best thing to do is buckle your seat belt and make sure you love the ones you're riding with. That's the only clarity I have.
Last night, at critique group, I realized that the group--in various incarnations--has existed for 17+ years. Almost two decades. And one of my crit partners brought a chapter that was so sure, so tight, and I realized in the two years she's been coming to group that she is now consistently nailing it. But I don't think any of us realize it until we've put in "all that time."
I know I was once the queen of back story. Not so much anymore. I know about each chapter containing its own arc now. I know . . . I know . . .
Which brings me around again to that (could be apocryphal) story of the writer being told the reason he or she was not published is they wrote crap. Of course, I am cutting to the chase. But you know, this whole idea of not putting in the time . . . there is this element (some would disagree) of raw talent to writing. What makes one person have these unbelievable hooks and concepts and ideas and another . . . not so much. I love audacious concepts and books. There are writers who simply have raw talent and sparks of genius. And then there is this other element of putting in the time. This idea that really it's only looking back over a real length and breadth of work, creating a BODY of your own work, that you can FINALLY start to gain clarity.
So what are some of the lessons you've learned after all this time?
15 comments:
Sticking to writing lessons, anyway, I would say that writers age well, generally speaking (like cheese!, or like a fine wine!, or like...), although sometimes they get too big for their britches and stop editing.
It seems to me that most writers don't really hit their stride until their 30s or older. There have been some very successful writers in their 20s, but I think mostly writers need the seasoning of living a few more years. I also suspect that it's only when you're a little older that you realize the value of your reader's time, but that's a complicated issue.
Mark:
Yeah, that last statement . . . I am starting to agree with that more and more.
That my creativity and talent is reliant upon my skill and not the other way around.
Hi Erica,
Great post!
I'm a traditionally-published author, testing the waters now with one indie title on Amazon. You might recognize the product description, but please don't give me away. :)
Anyway, one thing I've learned is that a good book won't necessarily get you a publishing contract. A book has to land on the right desk at the right time, and the only way to increase your chances of that happening is through persistence.
If, that is, you even want that to happen...
A lot of folks are saying that self-publishing is the way to go these days, and I've changed my mind on the subject drastically over the past year or so. I guess another thing I've learned is that it's crucial to be open-minded and willing to adapt in this business. We'll see how it goes.
Starbucks:
They are intertwined in ways I am only now beginning to understand.
SJ:
Six of my backlist are going up this year once rights issues are sorted out. I am excited to see what happens.
And . . . yes. I plan to self-pub a chick lit series--oh, chick lit is "dead," right. Except I get fan email weekly wanting it. So timing is everything in traditional publishing--which still makes me quiet happy!
I think that's great, Erica. Best of luck with it!
I see a lot of what looks and sounds like chick lit on the Kindle Boards. I would guess there must still be a good market for it.
What I've noticed recently is that what were once "rules" have now somehow changed to "tools." Like a mechanic instinctively reaches for a particular wrench, I now see myself knowing what technique to use to create what I want on the page.
I'm also seeing my work more as a 3-D piece of work rather than flat and linear. At least that's the effect I hope to create - like a novel length pop-up book.
Bath:
What an amazing analogy. Very much so, yes.
Very astute, Beth.
Well seeing how I’m new to this writing world, I suppose I’m just going through the motions right now, not a whole lot of lesson learned just yet. I’m reading as much as I can, reading books on writing and then actually writing. But I suppose writing and living a life share many of the same qualities. Maybe in order to explore the imaginary world, you must have an understanding of the real world and its complexities, its beauty and its hardships and in those moments, lessons can be learned, stories could be told.
And so I’ve learned that life is short and you must tell your love ones how much they mean to you and create those special moments of togetherness which allow your heart and soul to feel absolute joy. I’ve learned that love is not a fairy tale and it takes commitment. I’ve learned that life’s landscapes change, they must and when it does change, you must change with it and in the most positive way you can. I’ve learned you must have patience because sometimes it takes a while. I’ve learned that you’re only responsible for yourself and the choices you make, so always strive to do the right thing, even when it hurts. I’ve learned that I will never have all the answers to my unanswered questions, I’m not afforded that ability, it’s reserved for God. I’ve learned that at any given moment in your life, you are exactly where your suppose to be, whether it’s a beautiful place, (meaning it’s all good, bills paid, healthy family, laughter etc.) or a place that is so unrecognizable, you wonder if you’ll ever live through it.
There’s a quote I keep in my mind (not sure who said it) “You knew what you knew how to do back then, and when you know better – you do better.” Plain and simple, but so true. How can you fault yourself or another for that matter, as you go through life? Sometimes you’re lucky enough to know the mistakes you’ve created, but you have to walk that walk and sometimes it’s a really lonely road and then you have to take action. And you can’t expect someone else to get it, if they’re not capable just yet. I’ve learned to always give people the benefit of the doubt, because you never know what their “back story” is. I’ve learned how to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. I’ve learned to look for inspirations, in nature, in people, in experiences and in the quiet moments of life. If you tune in, the universe will bring it to you. I’ve learned that life is unfair, but I’ve also learned to take those moments in life and seek out a positive. It doesn’t come easy, it’s work, but there is always a positive. And I’ve learned to expect and embrace the uncertainties which will always show up, sometimes pounding on the door, or secretly slipping in underneath the threshold. But most importantly, I’ve learned that you create the life you live in.
I really like that now I can feel my way through the structure and pacing of a novel without thinking about it. Big load off, LOL. 'Course, with all this serial writing, it's probably an odd structure, but... it's a structure!
I love the word "audacious." My pop culture essay editor called my writing audacious, and I wrapped that up, put a bow on it, and set it on my shelf. :-) If only I could make my fiction audacious!
Lisa:
I don't discount my teen experiences. Or my 20s. Or my 30s. Same thing with being new to writing. It's what you're doing right now that is part of the whole journey . . . as for life . . . I've learned most of that, too . . . Life is the ultimate teacher. For everything.
natasha:
I came up with an audacious--crazy, crazy wild--idea two days ago while at the dentist's letting my mind wander. It's SO crazy. And yet . . . I KNOW there is this hook there, so I wrote a few pages when I got home. The idea is so nuts, it's scary. But it's also one of those . . .oooh, how come no one ever wrote this before. So we'll see. :-)
Oh that is so exciting, Erica! Good luck!
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