Writing with Blinders
When a horse gallops with blinders on, some handlers say it helps the horse focus, keeps the horse from shying. Sometimes, as a writer, blinders can be a good idea.
There is an online writer I know by her online name--I don't really know who she is, where she lives, what she looks like, or any of the rest of it. I know she isn't yet published and wants to be very, very badly after ten years of trying. And I know, without a doubt, that any time I post in the place I run into her, she will find something in my post to get angry about. She will be not be viciously rude enough to make herself look like a fool, but will be abrupt enough that the communication is always odd. I try to go out of my way--bend over backwards--to make sure nothing can be misconstrued in my words. I will always use phrases like "in my humble opinion," or "I don't know, but for me . . . " Doesn't matter. Finally, one of her friends wrote me at my website, embarassed for her, apologized on this writer's behalf, and said, "She just doesn't get why she isn't published and the fact that it seems so easy for you makes her jealous."
This writer needs blinders. No one can ever possibly know another writer's journey. Ever. No one--unless they went through every entry of this blog--and I have 356 entries!!!!!!!---could even begin to guess. And even if you had read every entry, you couldn't know. have written through being bed-ridden. I have written through pain that made me bite down so hard I cracked a tooth. I write with four kids. I turned in a book when I was 9 months pregnant--and I was so tired in that pregnancy, I would cry with exhaustion sometimes. I had deadlines while baby #4 was in NICU and intubated. I have written through grief. I have written through things no one could ever know about except my best friend and most beloved friend. And NONE of that is to say "Well, I have it tough." I don't. I think I have a GREAT and wonderful and joyous life. I don't have it easy, I don't have it tough. I HAVE IT THE WAY IT IS. I am more talented than some, less than others. I have friends in the biz, but that doesn't mean doors are instantly opened. I have had books I believed in be rejected. 25 books doesn't mean those are the ONLY ones I wanted to write. Some have been cast off along the way. You still get rejected once you're published. Rather than being angry with me, why not continue to hone craft? Why not put on blinders and keep on the path?
I can get jealous. I know a not-very-nice writer who has met with big success, and that irks me in some way. But I learned a LONG time ago not to go onto Amazon and compare numbers. Don't look who got reviewed in People magazine, or who got a starred review in PW with anything more than a "Good for them." Otherwise, in a business that makes you crazy, you could get even more crazy. Be happy there is room in the universe for everyone to fulfill their dreams and for everyone to have success.
While the blinders are on, be gracious to every person you meet. Every writer, every person who comes to your book signing or speaking engagement. Be gracious to those people you meet in cyberspace. It's just the better way to go through life.
Be aware of what's selling, what's hot, what's sold to the movies . . . but . . . use it as a carrot . . . something to work toward, without begrudging the horse next to you.
Focus on your path . . . and like the horse, you'll get to your destination. At least, that's what I think.
Thoughts?
Peace,
E
13 comments:
Good advice, Erica.
Another popular author whose blog I frequent is having trouble with a rogue disgruntled fan right now. I imagine it would be hard to put blinders on in that situation, but that's probably what she needs to do.
I guess fame always come with a price.
I'm thinking seriously about using a pseudonym when I get published. Just too many idiots out there.
I can't recall being bitten by that bug, I have no idea why. Not to be Star Trek-ish and Seven of Nine-ish, but how I rank is irrelevant. I just don't know, and I accept that because of my perspective, I can't know for sure. I've felt pangs, and if they were jealousy, they just sprouted as a deep, aching desire to improve myself.
Besides, in the end, it's just you and the pen.
Jude:
I've once or twice had people write me rude emails . . . usually because they didn't agree with the morality of a character--but no rogue fans. LOL
E
Spy:
I don't feel that bug much either. It's just not a helpful emotion.
E
It's really not a helpful emotion. So many of those who have been working toward being published for years let the envy and the frustration rule their lives. I'm convinced that this bleeds into your writing and hey, maybe that's a part of why the books aren't selling.
I do think it's normal to look at someone's success and feel a small twinge of envy...but the healthy way to feel it, I think, is to say, oh I'm glad she got that, I just want it too.
Blinders is a good idea, really. Because when it comes down to it, we're in competition only with ourselves.
And I just caught myself going over this post to make sure I didn't insult anyone.
maureen:
I do that, too. I want to be gracious at all times. I feel every human being should pursue what makes them happy--but not ever begrudge the person next to them happiness either. And the really hard thing, sometimes, is seeing a person struggle for ten years or more, and as an EDITOR seeing exactly what's wrong, and knowing the person isn't open to feedback or growth. I have seen people re-work the same book in just a slightly different version over and over, searching for a different result. I love the scene in WONDER BOYS when Michael Dounglas's bloated novel blows away--and it's the BEST thing that ever happened to him. Sometimes we need to be open to change, too.
E
Erica,
When do you know it's time to stop reworking that book and move on to something else?
My blinders are firmly in place.
Great post!
Hi Kathy:
I know for me, it's when I come to a place where I know there is a fundamental flaw that I don't see a way around. Where some "a-ha" moment reveals to me that I got excited about an idea that was truly half-baked. Or when I realize the voice just isn't coming into its own . . . without a voice, a novel is just a drifting pile of plot. ;-)
E
Erica, I'm so glad you had the courage to write this. I also had a friend (with publishing ambitions of her own) who suddenly distanced herself from me when I had several books published. It is so sad. All authors and aspiring authors need to encourage and support each other. We've all been at "square one," and there's plenty of room for all of us in the publishing world. I only compare myself with myself. How can I do better than I did before? It doesn't even occur to me to compare myself to other writers, although many of them certainly inspire me to reach for greater heights. I truly feel that people like my former friend hinder their own success. Jealousy can be poison to one's creativity.
Hi Susan:
I've had a couple of people distance themselves . . . but I would be SO happy for any of my friends to break in.
E
Erica
Hear, hear! What a great post. As most have already said, jealousy like that is such a waste of time and doesn't serve anyone. Why not take that energy and do something productive, focus it all on your work.
And you're right about never knowing anyone else's journey. It's one of the reasons I laugh at the term "overnight success" because I bet most of the time that "overnight" was a long, draw-out, frustrating process only appearing to the public as overnight.
Graciousness and gratitude will get one far in life. :-) Besides, why the heck would you want to distance yourself from successful people? Those are the people you want to surround yourself with so you can learn!
I think that people who despise successful people have little chance at succeeding... because why on earth would you want to become something you despise?
danika:
All great points. . . . And I had to laugh at "overnight success." I actually belittled, in a sense, my first sale story. I was being interviewed by a newspaper, and I told them the truth--that I had sold my first novel, and that it sold in three months, and that it was a ridiculously "overnight success" story. Anyway, the reporter interviewed my agent, my editor, and my father for the profile piece. And my father scoffed at "overnight success." He said something like, "She may have sold the book quickly, but she has been writing since she was a child and worked as a book editor, and it has all been moving toward this moment--years of hard work." And he was right. You can't put a label like that on the process.
E
LOL - so true. Even if someone, say, gets an agent or makes a sale quickly, there's probably years of paper trails, full wastepaper baskets, self-doubt, and tear-stained rejection letters that came before. Your Father's right... everything that came before led to it.
I definitely think the term "overnight success" is a disservice to writers and also where that public envy may come in. It makes it appear EASY from the outside.
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