Wrestling
I can remember the first time I ripped up a page filled with my words. I was in third grade, and I had a yellow legal pad, and I would write on it and hide it under my mattress. And I remember one day reading what I had written, what a day before had been brilliant and shiny and wonderful . . . and I hated it. So I ripped up the page. Did I have third-grade angst?
I actually looked up the dictionary meaning of angst, and it doesn't quite fit, at least not for me.
n. A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.
But what is it? This constant battling against oneself. Because I don't know a single writer--at least not one doing it for a while--who doesn't go through this wrestling. I suppose when writing is all new, as in you have just decided to write your Great American Novel, it might seem wonderful. And I know I have long periods of fun--real joy in creating. But there's just no doing it without the other side.
I looked to my trusty dictionary again and the second definition of wrestle here, this seems more like it:
wres·tle
And that's it, isn't it. A struggle for mastery that's always unattainable.
No wonder all writers are a little insane.
Thoughts? Got a verb or noun that describes what writing is like for you? One word. And the definition.
22 comments:
When I write, I extract--that is, I "get, pull, or draw out, usually with special effort, will, or force" (thus my low productivity rate). I'm the first to admit that I'm too much of an editor, and I let that get in the way of my process.
Squoont v: to twist someone's nipples off, usually with pliers. By the time he finished writing the novel, he felt as though he had been squoonted a thousand times.
Obscure - Difficult to understand.
Right now my writing and my story telling abilities are growing in so many different directions. I have no idea where I'm headed right now.
But at least I'm headed somewhere.
Melody:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh . . . good one! I like that!!!
Jude:
Ok, that is just gross. LOL!
JT:
Somewhere is better than nowhere. LOL! Keep on growing!
obfuscate: to be evasive, unclear, or confusing
impenetrable: inaccessible to knowledge, reason, or sympathy
obsession: the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
Etc.: a Latin expression meaning "and other things" or "and so on"
Mark:
All good ones!!
Thinking.
I guess we all know what that means. Or YOU do. I'm still learning.
:)
Decoding: To convert from a scrambled signal into plain text... That sounds about right for me... It's an intriguing mystery capable of changing lives.
Starbucks:
I am all thunked out today. :-)
BLD:
Man . . . I am always trying to decode. And not always succeeding.
Hi Erica! I'm new to your blog...so can I cheat just a tad as a beginner? You said ONE word but you also made the apt comment that writers are insane. Let's say as a writer I am definitely afflicted with a hint of Schizophrenia (and a double-barelled name) so; ANN'S word is
RAMBUNCTIOUS= it's an adjective meaning "energetic in a cheerful noisy way."
That's how I feel exactly speeding along for around the first 15.000 words. Then my schizo counterpart takes over and infects me with MARIE'S RANCOUR = noun, meaning "a feeling of bitterness and anger".
I'm always in a dilemma at this part as my characters want to go one way and I (frustratingly)want to head in another direction...should I see a shrink do you think?
Wrestling sounds pretty accurate for me, as long as it's lucha libre.
I think I construct - in all its definitions, but perhaps especially #3.
1. to build or form by putting together parts; frame; devise.
2.Geometry. to draw (a figure) fulfilling certain given conditions.
3.an image, idea, or theory, esp. a complex one formed from a number of simpler elements.
Clueless. Sometimes it feels like I'm clueless as to how to write.
Writing Show was entertaining last night. I loved Phyllis's line: saying you have a publicist is like saying you have a Norditrack.
puzzling: definition no. 3
To clarify or solve (something confusing) by sorting the random thoughts into a coherent expression.
Well, that's the goal, take the random thoughts drifting through me and arrange them so that they make sense. That's the plan. Whether I succeed or not is the reader's decision.
Ann:
THANKS for dropping by . . . and awesome comment, because yeah . . . my emotions vary on it too.
Amy:
I especially love #3
Melanie:
LOL! Great comment.
Richmond:
LOL! Hilarious line!
Allen:
Another excellent one. You guys were GREAT with this!
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