Resolutions
OK, I've got about a week to go until January 1. And New Year's Resolution time.
I'm working on my list.
In general, I usually come up with about ten things I resolve to do, and in general, I usually follow through with maybe 7 out of 10, which isn't a bad batting average. When I write things down, it seems to make them more real, more of a commitment. I used to think that all those self-help gurus who said write down your goals were full of self-help B.S. However, I have to say that since I started writing my goals down, I do seem to "own" them more and keep them.
Now a confession.
The one resolution I NEVER follow through on, the ONE resolution that is forgotten by January 2nd . . . or at least by January 15th . . . is "Take more time for myself to pursue my hobbies and relax." My goal isn't immense. An hour a day to read for pleasure or to knit. I'd settle for a half-hour. But somehow, my wonderful four kids hog up my time so much, along with my deadlines, that a half-hour seems impossible. I usually collapse exhausted into bed at night, with not a knit or a purl in sight. No pleasure reading. No listening to classical music. No . . . nothing.
So this is what I have to work on. I really, really, really need to somehow re-think my goals, my time management, something . . . so that this small goal is possible.
I'll work on the rest of my resolutions and post them this year and keep you all posted on how this overworked writer is doing with them. But I want to know . . . anyone else feeling resolute? Contemplating goals? Putting their house in order as the year draws to a close?
Please share . . . and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17 comments:
Totally. It's been buzzing in my mind even more than my WIPs. One of my biggest goals this year is to do one thing at a time. (That was my goal last year, too, but I didn't make any strides with that one.)
Like just now, I was trying to redesign a site. And then I saw that I had clicked open your window earlier, and then I decided to check it out, and then I heard the email bell ding, went to investigate, and then I was back to color schemes, and now I'm back here. It's ridiculous.
I'd get so much more done, with much higher quality of results, if I just did one thing at a time.
Funny, mine is similar to Spy's. I've got eight books half written, and need to focus on one at a time (two other books are finished, but it took me 235 years to write them).
As for the "me time" you don't seem to be able to schedule for yourself, consider the advice of financial gurus: pay yourself first.
Hi Spy:
I have a serious case of A.D.D. too. I have a VERY difficult time concentrating on one thing.
Hi Stephen:
I have a massive unfinished pile too. Which i resolve to finish.
As for paying myself first, if you saw my checking account, you would realize I don't do so well with that. But yes, I do think it's a realyl sound principle. Some sort of standing time that no matter what I take to relax.
E
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
One of my goals for 2007 was to have a book deal by the end of the year. I know now there are so many factors beyond my control, that that was not a reasonable goal to set. I finished the book and landed an agent, and after that it was out of my hands.
So, for 2008:
Finish my screenplay (it's almost there!); register the copyright; contract for script coverage with a reputable company and make appropriate revisions; get it to my agent; enter it in the competiton for a Nicholl fellowship; write the novel version of the story and get THAT to my agent.
That's pretty much all I can do. If the script gets optioned or sells outright or wins a fellowship...well, I don't have any control over those things.
Other goals for 2008:
1) quit smoking
2) lose weight
3) be kinder
4) write more
5) love more
6) smile more
6) get that pile of river rock off my driveway and into beds around the house where it belongs.
:)
I had lots of goals for this year. Lots of plans. And God/The Universe laughed.
So now I have only one goal for next year. To do the best I can and let the chips fall where they may.
I'd like to finish my WIP. I believe I will and that I will at least send it out, if not find an agent. But I recognize that there are things not in my control.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year's and that 2008 is kinder to you than 2007 has been.
Jen
My only goals are to write 3 books in 2008 and to lose 7 pounds. Both doable. That's it. I have big hopes and dreams, but those are the only goals under my control.
Jude:
Lovely resolutions.
j.k.:
That's a marvelous attitude, because life always throws us curveballs.
And thanks for your good wishes.
E
edie:
Simple and to the point!
E
I should have added that it's my goal for my next book to be better than my last. But that's my round-the-year goal. Come to think of it, so is losing weight.
The key to having a resolution fulfilled is to create it in a way that is a possibility rather then a sentence. Another way of saying it is to create the resolution as something to live into rather than something that has to be done. The change in point of view is significant and important. A 'have to' is limiting and keeps you from growing.
The other part of the key is to share your resolution with other people so that they see you as this new resolution or choice. When you are not being the way you told them you would, they will call you back to it... sort of like a safety net.
My resolutions are all about writing, running, and making sure my family and friends are well loved and taken care of.
ewoh:
Can you give an example of how you word yours?
E
Yes, yes I can.
You want to create space in the fabric of your life 'for yourself'.
You might usually say that as a resolution something like this: I resolve to spend an hour a day working on XYZ.
While it sounds great and very powerful, it is not the kind of statement that has a lot of room for growth and doesn't really inspire.
However making a resolution to live a less hectic, or more flexible life where it is possible to have space to read or do XYZ for half an hour or more is powerful, has room to grow and expand in whatever direction it needs to go and is much more likely to have your family enrolled in it with you.
In the process of creating a new way of being in and about yourself and your life, one of the key ingredients for success, or a key process if you prefer, is to get other people enrolled and excited about what you are creating. They are going to be the cops, the police that keep you on track for your new resolution, your new way of being with your life.
When you create something new like this, if it is only in your head then it will only be real for you as long as you are thinking about it. If you write it down and post it on the wall next to your computer on on the refrigerator then it will only be real when you are thinking about it or looking at the note. If you share it with other people - your family and friends - then they come to see you as the person doing XYZ.
Your friends and family already see you as a certain type of person who does a set of activities, says specific types of things, etc. When you are not behaving or talking in the way you are expected to (however normal on not that may be) they will work towards getting you back into the role they are used to you being in.
If you share with them a new way you want to be in your life - a new resolution, a change from the norm - and get them onboard or enrolled and excited about this new resolution or new way of being, then when you are not doing or being that way they will remind you about it.
It is a way of anchoring the change you want to be in your life that it calls you into being that way, instead of you forcing a change.
Clear as mud?
ewoh;
Actually, it is pretty clear. For example, if I was to suddenly start speaking Chinese, my family would immediately get on my case to speak English because that's what they expect of me and our life together. So . . . saying I want to be xyz, allows them to also participate in this new vision for my life.
E
EXACTY!
Right on the nose.
By bringing it into your life, sharing it with the people in your life, it gains being and reality.
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