Monday, October 20, 2008

Zombies and Spiders and Eyeballs, Oh My!

A month ago, I visited my dad and mom and got to spend the night at my best friend's house. When I walked in, there was a handpainted black skull on the table set under glass, the way Normal People might place a cake. And there was a flower with eyeballs hand-glued on it as if the pretty black flower had sprouted EYES. I, however, didn't bat an eye, because, after all, would you expect me to have a Normal Person as a friend? Of course not. My best friend changes her hair color randomly (I am pretty sure it has been red, white, and blue, but maybe I dreamed that--I know it's been purple, pink, and bleached white and black . . . ). And she is an amazing writer.

In honor of Halloween, I always post her office. This year, her sister had posted the pictures on her blog, thus saving me having to download them all. I give you the Martha Stewart of Halloween.

The pictures don't do it justice. You lose the sense of the black skull under glass, and if you look closely at the smaller picture with the telephone, yes, that is a jar of eyeballs.

But creepy office aside, my friend Pammie has been my movie-going companion for years. Now that I live in Virginia and she works in Florida for a publisher, we even sometimes watch things over the phone together. And I can tell you, over the years, we have been to many a scary movie together. And she has never flinched. Not once. Not even in THIS flick. I, on the other hand, once pulled on her black sweater to hide my eyes during, I believe, Seven . . . stretching the sleeves so she can no longer WEAR said black sweater. I am the big, fat chicken hyperventilating in the corner.

THAT aside, Pammie laughs at zombies. LAUGHS! Mocks them! I can at least handle zombies and in fact loved this flick. I can tell you that a certain mutual friend of mine and Pammie's (who visits this blog) cannot handle zombies and if I even make a zombie noise, he is destined for sleeplessness.

And so, in honor of Halloween (Demon Baby wants to be a worm. I am trying to talk him into being a dalmation and I will be Cruella . . . we'll see.), I bring back a popular blog topic. What scares the bejesus out of you?

Satan does it for me.

Followed by clowns.

And evil spiders of enormous size.

Cockroaches creep me out, which is different from mortal terror. Rats terrorize me, on the other hand.

Zombies? Not so much. See, I don't know if I believe in zombies (versus Satan? Now . . . I don't know . . . but the Exorcist sufficiently scarred me.).

Serial killers? Not the slasher varieties. Though I saw a Law and Order repeat this week with a serial killer and I was freaked the eff out. I do not, however, watch torture porn, so I can't say if that sh*t scares me since I won't watch it. Never seen Saw I, II, II, IV, and yes, there is a V coming out. What gives with people wanting to watch that stuff?

Vampires rarely scare me. I made an exception for this film.

So . . . happy fall Monday (we had some frost today!). Go ahead. Scare me.

P.S. My best friend arrives on Saturday for a WEEK of fall fun and Halloween together. I can't wait!

32 comments:

Jude Hardin 8:58 AM, October 20, 2008  

Go ahead. Scare me.

Okay. You asked for it.

Mark Terry 9:12 AM, October 20, 2008  

Snakes.

Dying alone.

Alzheimer's.

Erica Orloff 9:13 AM, October 20, 2008  

Jude;
Terrifying!!!!!!!!!!!!!
E

Erica Orloff 9:13 AM, October 20, 2008  

Mark:
My son has a python. I am often afraid she will escape and eat me.

E

... 9:32 AM, October 20, 2008  

Your pal is awesomely handy and creative. I LOVE festive peoples...

What scares ME??

Hmmm. Let's see.

1. Linda Blair being demon possesed with a bloody crucifix in hand.
2. Maggots.

And....

3. The possibility of never being able to have had the pleasure of meeting Augusten Burroughs face to face.

And best zombie flick by far???

PLANET OF TERROR!!!

Erica Orloff 9:44 AM, October 20, 2008  

realmcovet:
My friend is just so creative it would be sickening if I didn't love her so much.

Then again, this is my sister:
http://socialbutterflyinc.net/

Creative people!

And oh, that Linda Blair . . . SCARY!

Edie Ramer 10:02 AM, October 20, 2008  

Dick Cheney with a gun. Dick Cheney without a gun. The economy.

Alzheimer's is very scary.

I don't watch scary movies. You're braver than I am, Erica.

Anonymous 10:17 AM, October 20, 2008  

Now that we live in the country, I sometimes visualize red glowing eyeballs -- head height -- outside my window, in the dark at night. Oy. If we had an under the bed (we have a captain's bed with no space beneath) I would still be leaping for the bed at night.

And Pammie's stuff really is amazing. I don't know how she has the patience for doing all that stuff!

--Amy

Erica Orloff 10:36 AM, October 20, 2008  

Edie:
I only watch 'em with Pammie. Otherwise, I'd be WAY too scared!
E

Erica Orloff 10:36 AM, October 20, 2008  

Amy!

Oh, I HATE the under the bed monsters!!!! LOL!
E

R.J. Keller 10:46 AM, October 20, 2008  

Jude Hardin beat me to it. The words the Palin administration...that's what keeps me up at night.

Michele Hauf 10:50 AM, October 20, 2008  

serial killers

exorcisms in movies (I LOVED Constantine, but the opening exorcism scene scares the crap out of me)

worms

house noises in the middle of the night

Michele

Erica Orloff 10:52 AM, October 20, 2008  

rj:
LOL. Yes, that phrase "A heartbeat away . . . " causes me to lose sleep.

E

Erica Orloff 10:53 AM, October 20, 2008  

michele:
House noises-most definitely!

And I loved Constantine, and even that scene--but I HATE when they make those demons crawl on the ceiling. Hate that! That scares the crap outta me.

E

... 11:02 AM, October 20, 2008  

Thanks for the "sister" linkage....

She IS creative!! I love love LOVE that blacktree with flowers hanging. Ominousness mingled with beauty takes my breath away...

And Constantine....now I gotta go pop that baby in my dvd player. That exorcism scene was the SHIZ. John Constantine rocks my socks way the heck off!!!

Melanie Hooyenga 11:14 AM, October 20, 2008  

That office is amazing - it'd be fun to work with her just to hang out in there. I still don't know what I'm doing - I thought of being Palin but people here will just think I'm a white woman with glasses, lol.

I'm scared of maggots (ew), earthquakes in the middle of the night (had one last night), and drowning.

Erica, did you hear there's a man in Chicago dressing up as a clown and trying to abduct kids? Awful. Aside from the whole kidnapping/molestation thing, it's also giving a whole new generation a reason to be terrified of clowns.

Erica Orloff 11:15 AM, October 20, 2008  

realmcovet:
My sister just scares me she is so craft. She used to teach me how to make table decorations and all sorts of stuff, but I lack the Martha Stewart gene.

E

Erica Orloff 11:15 AM, October 20, 2008  

melanie:
No. I hadn't heard. But really? Does it surprise me? Clowns are evil.

E

Zoe Winters 1:32 PM, October 20, 2008  

hehe I love vampires and I don't believe in Satan.

But...ghosts...man...ick.

Spy Scribbler 1:33 PM, October 20, 2008  

Oh, my, gosh, I love your friend. That is AWESOME! We usually go all out, too, but I'm so backlogged we haven't touched the decorating, yet, which is bizarre, because we usually have it up on October 1.

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year!

PS: I can't do scary movies, either. I have a tough time with comedy, too, because it's often a bit scary and excruciating, in a way. I sympathize too much. I'm scared of bugs and gooey gunk. (Dishes are a terrifying experience. DH laughs because I only use the very tippy-top of two fingers to touch the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.)

Erica Orloff 1:38 PM, October 20, 2008  

zoe:
Ghosts don't bug me too much. But I don't know about poltergeists.
;-)
E

Erica Orloff 1:39 PM, October 20, 2008  

spy:
LOL! My sister used to only be able to touch meat (like making hamburgers) with baggies on her hand. Too gross for her. So I am sure she would relate.
E

Stephen Parrish 3:05 PM, October 20, 2008  

Jude: Don't do that! I peed my pants!

"The Sixth Sense" caused me a sleepless night. Okay, three, but I'm NOT a wuss. I watched "The Exorcist" in a theater when it first came out and the only reason I didn't leave halfway through was because I didn't want my friends to think I was a wuss. Because I'm NOT.

Erica Orloff 3:51 PM, October 20, 2008  

stephen:
It's ok. You're amongst friends. You can tell us the truth.

:-)
E

Ewoh Nairb 4:26 PM, October 20, 2008  

Not just won't, but CAN'T watch scary movies. Nope, not at all. Had to sit through Blair Witch and I most definitely pee-pee'd in my pants. Messed me up for months.

Flying scares the CRAP out of me. Strangely rappelling down the side of a building does not.

The thought of anything happening to my wife or daughters can and will give me anxiety attacks.

Large groups of people - like at concerts, amusement parks, etc.

Erica Orloff 4:37 PM, October 20, 2008  

ewoh:
I am so not rappelling. Though actually I have never tried.

E

Anonymous 4:59 PM, October 20, 2008  

Your friend sounds awesome, Erica! And have fun watching scary movies together.

I'm afraid of snakes and movies like the one Richard Gere starred in, Mothman Prophecy, that are based on truth. I loved that movie, and never forgot it. It makes you believe that the monsters we don't know about are the sacriest of all.

Robin 5:35 PM, October 20, 2008  

Your friend's house is too cool! I like all the little gravestones in a row.

When I was 13 I read Salem's Lot out loud with my friend, Sheila, during sleepovers, and I still can't walk past an uncovered window when it's dark. I'm afraid I'll see a vampire beckoning me.

My basement in our house when I was a kid. The washer was down there, and it was really really scary!

Erica Orloff 7:07 PM, October 20, 2008  

ladonna:
Those (true or sort of true ones) creep me out too.
E

Erica Orloff 7:07 PM, October 20, 2008  

Robin:
My room was in the basement when I was younger. NEVER got over the creep-out factor!!!!
E

Stephen Parrish 8:42 PM, October 20, 2008  

stephen: It's ok. You're amongst friends. You can tell us the truth.

My name is Stephen Parrish and I'm a horror wuss.

Erica Orloff 8:46 PM, October 20, 2008  

stephen:
I knew it. ;-)

E


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