Nemesis
Every superhero has a nemesis. I have two.
One . . . I love to goof around on the 'net. So I have to structure my day where I write or work in bursts, and then reward myself with five minutes of 'net time. I play SCRABBLE with friends online--though since our game, Stephen no longer plays with me. :-) I spend a lot of time reading--the NY Times, good blog posts, essays in Esquire or Salon or whatever. If I find a topic that interests me, I can get lost in it, Googling and following links. I tell myself I might use it someday and thus it constitutes "research."
My second nemesis decided to make an appearance a week ago. Crohn's. It is about as bad as it gets for me, and no matter what I eat . . . . You know it's bad when I am contemplating cans of Ensure, which, despite their ads? Taste like baby formula. The only thing I am NOT contemplating is meds. Because I hate all of them and what they do to me. So when my nemesis arrives, my life looks different. I need to nap. I need to wear comfortable clothes since no matter what I do . . . even breathing hurts. And I need to stay home since I can be sick 12 times a day. Generally, if you are like me, you prefer that to be at home and not at the grocery store.
I fight nemesis number two with sheer force of will. I have a major book signing next week in D.C. on Monday . . . and if need be I will be facing it with Gatorade and Ensure (the joy! the sheer gastronomic pleasure!).
But here's the other thing . . . every writer has a nemesis. It might be short attention span, doubt, fear of rejection, fear of success, an over-inflated ego, or absolute lack of confidence. It might be an inability to meet deadlines, or it could be a nuts and bolts writing concept that is proving difficult. It could be plotting problems or lack of character development. You name it . . . writers have no shortage of things to battle.
What's your nemesis, Writing Superheroes. And how do you fight it?
And another thing. It's my blog. So absolutely no comments about "feel better" or anything. No pity party here today. Me against Crohn's? I'm gonna kick its ass. Seriously. 'Cause that's how I roll.
Bring it.
25 comments:
Nemesis: Doubt.
But you probably knew that. I can second-guess myself into a pretzel. How do I battle it? Head down, fingers on keyboard, one word at a time--forward.
Mark:
I battle doubt by emailing Lurker Monkey and asking him to talk me in from the ledge. It generally works. Something about the Monkey Man is calming.
Well you named every one of my nemesises. Did I spell that right? Oh let's add spelling to my list too.
Richmond:
LOL!!!!
:-)
Ugly Inner Critic. He takes on two forms - beta readers and contest judges, both usually lacking skills to back up their comments. His appearances come in mocking tones. "Hey, stupid name for a hero!" or "That would never happen in real life," are a sample of the ilk he spews.
I've learned to combat him, diligently reminding myself that he's full of shazit. But still, he finds ways of bogging me down depending on my mood swing (another nemesis - oh there are so many!).
kath:
It's a dance . . . tempering wise advice with the advice that isn't either meant with your best interests at heart, or advice that really has little merit.
Asthma, right now. The ADD I've done a pretty job of getting under control with Fish Oil, making sure I get enough oxygen, and keeping my sugar balanced. The asthma is the big one right now. I'm pumping myself full of meds (we're down to steroids, now, which makes me nervous). Meds are something I just don't do, like ever, but I can't help it. I have to breathe, LOL. There's no choice there, LOL.
The rest I battle with and manage semi-okay, save the write-something-outside-of-erotica thing. Gosh freakin' darnit. I'll let you know how I battle that when I actually make some decent progress, LOL.
Huh.
This question actually stopped me short for a few minutes. It's not that I don't have a nemesis—not at all—but none of the old bugaboos really "felt" right for me. So I had to stop and think about it hard.
I think my nemesis is part technical and part the way I'm wired. My writing journey has been toward people, toward characters, and that's been my biggest stumbling block in selling a project so far. So characterization.
I feel a little fortunate, though, because this is a technical thing. You can learn this, so I feel like it's been receding with every book as I get better and pay more careful attention.
Erica, a dance, indeed, with partners who stomp on my toes.
Natasha . . .
Still struggling with non-pseudo?
E
Lurker Monkey:
I thought you would say that, and YES, each book evolves. I suppose in writing, for me it's details and delving deeper.
E
Nemesis for the past three years has been pain. I had full rotator cuff surgery in Sept 07 and reinjured it in Dec 09 haven't been out of pain in three years. It got so bad it even hurt to type.
A few weeks ago I got a new Orthopedist, a shot in the tendon and a new physical therepist and now I'm doing better. Still have the pain but its getting better.
And last week I actually made a sale of a short story! So perhaps things are turning around.
AIMLESS:
CONGRATS ON THE SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You pretty much nailed it with your list of nemesises... You know when you finish writing something, be it a blogpost, poem, page of a potential novel or whatever and you reread it and it's just crap, absolute crap... I hate that! How do you battle the self-doubt?
Sigh, I have a lot.
Doubt, fear that I am fooling myself, thinking I should give up, letting fear distract me from writing, plot with backstory, not being able to focus on one genre, the list could go on...
But every morning I put on my superhero cape (metaphorically speaking) and try again. Because writing is what I really want to do.
"Surrender? Never." - Ferris Bueller
BLD:
I wrote a million words to combat that. I threw EVERYTHING out that I wrote before age 18 . . . ripped the stuff to shreds. After a million or so words, I started to find my voice and believe in it.
Nadine:
And you happened to quote one of my fave movies ever!!!!!
It might be rooted in self-doubt, but it's procrastination.
The Cliche Monster. With glowing red eyes and a sinister grin, he lies coiled and ready to strike at the first opportunity.
Starbucks:
I have that too. And time constraints--just too many kids with just ONE of me. :-)
Jude:
Kick him to the curb. :-)
I'll say lack of self confidence. It shows itself in a variety of ways, but that's the root of it all.
Just pain. To quote myself. :-)
"Have you ever noticed that physical pain affects your ability to express yourself? Hit your thumb with a hammer and, at best, you'll manage a monosyllabic curse. More likely, you'll resort to a grunt or yelp to convey the agony.
"One of the worst things about developing a painful illness is that it stripped writing from my life. It wasn't just the exhaustion, and it wasn't some manner of depression. The truth is that I could find nothing inside of me. No words. They were gone. Pain had dammed my creativity at its source, and with just one or two exceptions, I wrote nothing of consequence for more than a dozen years."
I supposed I should have self-doubts now that I'm back to writing because nobody has shown much interest in my work over the last few years. It's a generous gift that I don't have those doubts... But if I can't find anyone who likes my WIP, that may change quickly.
Melanie:
I hear you. I see that in a friend I am close to . . . it's a tough one that can permeate multiple areas.
Richard:
When pain is at its worst, it blinds you to everything good in life. I hear you.
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