Misbehave

First . . . visit Aerin's blog today. She's posting an interview with me, and you will find out a fact about me . . . that has never before been revealed in print. Hint: It has to do with a rodent.

And now . . . today's blog is about misbehaving. I have a silver bangle given to me by my best friend, and it is inscribed: "Well-behaved women rarely make history." I don't know that I'm making history, but I do know I am not well-behaved.

I could tell you a thousand ways in which I don't behave, but . . . heck, if you're a long-time reader of this blog, you know that already. Oh, and if you read Aerin's blog, you'll find that out, too. So on to writing.

Here's why you have to misbehave. You need to write uncensored. You need to sit down and just write your TRUTH, whatever that is (even in fiction). You need to not worry what your mom or dad or kids or neighbor or the people you go to church with or the rest of the world in general thinks. If you write about sex, write it honestly, and don't worry if that means the ladies of the PTA think you must be wild behind closed doors. If you write about dysfunctional families, don't worry if that means the person across the street now really wonders about you.

Then you must misbehave by facing down your fears. Here's a secret about misbehaving. It's not without scary moments. The scariest moments in my life were when I was very, very sick with Crohn's and in a hospital, and I could not see my child because my immune system was too weak. And I didn't have any visitors for the same reason. And I was alone in a room on the 12th floor, in a city hospital, and it was drab, and I was losing my eyesight (temporarily) so I couldn't read, and I couldn't SEE the TV on the wall anymore. And my world was just about pain. I couldn't walk four feet; the morphine drip was my friend. And I wish I could say how it was I fought back, or even that I was brave. But I don't know. This book sort of did it for me. What I do know is at some point, I misbehaved and decided to kick Crohn's in the ass. But I was still really scared--I just pushed the scared part into a part of me I hate to visit. And every once in a while, I have to go to that place, and shine a light . . . and make the scared stuff face the brightness.

Writing is the same thing in a way. Because once you write your truth uncensored, you have to face your fears about whether or not it's any good. You show it to people. You show it to people who will speak a truth. You don't show it to people who will pat you on the back and congratulate you. Those people are nice, too, but they aren't scary.

Then you misbehave by being messy. Because people who misbehave generally don't have neat and orderly lives. Or if they do? There's some spot in it that's off-kilter. Being messy? That's the rewrite. Because rewriting is NEVER pretty. So you make a mess of that first draft. And sometimes the second and third and fourth draft. Some people use post-its, some a red pen, some Track Changes. I make messy notes.

And finally, you misbehave by dreaming. Being a writer is an audacious dream. Seeing your words in print, sharing them with the world. Once you write uncensored, face your fears, and make a mess . . . it's TIME. Time to pursue the dream with reckless abandon, whatever that looks like, whatever path.

So . . . misbehave today. Thoughts? What other misbehaving writers are out there?