The Hole
Yes, last week I fell into a hole. A deep, dark hole, and I forgot my shovel.
I could give you an extremely long list of reasons including an aging parent with a significant medical issue; deadlines; a Dynamo Boy who has decided, on second thought, that kindergarten kind of sucks; having to put one of my dogs to "sleep"; a persistent flea issue with the other two dogs (curses to the awful flea and tick and fly season we're having in this part of the country); deadlines (I know I said that, but they were awful); a son who put off a major English assignment to the last minute; and, not last and not least, Crohn's. It has been unrelenting in a way that ALMOST made me (because I was in a hole, after all) wonder if really I could live the rest of my life this way--it just sucked that bad.
This week, all of the above (minus the English assignment, and the fact that grief over our dog has subsided ever so slightly) is still true, but I am not in the hole anymore. I don't know why, but there were signs I was climbing out, most obvious of which? I "nested." No, I'm not having a baby, but when I come through one of these periods, I often get in the mood to cook, so I made cold soba noodle salad and a basil, tomato, and macaroni cold salad with balsamic .
And today, I'll write.
Because that's what writers do. I think for most writers there are times when we fall into a hole, or maybe a ditch (not quite as severe as a hole). We get distracted. We have crises of faith, children, parents, relationships. We need a root canal. We nurse a friend through a broken heart . . . We have a life (imagine that!) that is separate from writing. But in the end, it is the fact that we are WRITERS at heart that mean we get pulled back to the computer, to the page, to the words.
So here's to a better week. And what do you do to climb out of your particular ditch?
36 comments:
How do I climb out of a hold? Live in the moment and don't "should" on myself. Sometimes it isn't easy.
Little by little and day by day. It's all we can do sometimes, and it works. I hope your pain eases...all of it.
Joe:
Good advice. I was so insanely swamped by circumstances, I had no choice but to live in the moment.
Amy:
Absolutely!
Ride it out and put on a music CD. Maybe this one:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk_tG0vfbcQ
Mark;
Good one! :-)
I bought the new Chrissie Hynde/JP Jones CD. It is on endless repeat. Has certainly helped me (even if it's a heart-breaking CD . . . the guitar is awesome).
Mine is pretty much a shallow ditch. I mean if you count the words I write it's an abyss and I'm at the bottom but I don't let that stop me.
For some reason though after reading this post I thought, that's what I need, to write. Things are a bit rough around here (nothing worthy of mentioning merely life not going the way I want it to) Writing seems to sooth the irritation.
Thanks.
Hi Richmond;
Writing is still my solace after all these years.
I was worried about you last week. Ever hopeful that you were extra busy with your family and looming deadlines, but I wss concerned about 'you'. I don't even know you ... but I care.
I was in a (very minor) dip myself for a few days last week. I could have slept for days on end. I am forcing myself out of inertia and have enrolled in several dance/fitness classes. It got me thinking beyond the moment and forcing myself out of the house, with other adults and to get moving in a fun way.
But what do I normally do when I'm in a hole I can't find my way out of? I write.
I revisited those journals this past weekend (an easy read, because I already knew the ending) and I was reminded that the almighty pen (now computer) has helped me when nothing else works.
If all else fails, I write.
I can't tell you how many times my son waited until the day before an assignment was due to get started on it. Yes I can: EVERY time. He somehow managed to get through high school, lol, and is even getting a partial academic scholarship for college.
Hope this week is better for you. I know it always helps me to feel as though I'm accomplishing SOMETHING, whether it's pages on my WIP or mopping the floors.
You cooked?! Stop the presses, I think my axis just tilted. ;-)
Holes, I feel, are meant to happen. I view them like a tsunami - the ocean's bottom is overturned and regurgitated, and soon smooth waters, blue skies, etc., return, a/k/a the clean slate. Holes are the Universe's way of shaking it up, like a slap in the face.
WOW! I think I just found the metaphor I needed for my WIP. Cool beans. :-)
Here's to a better week - CHEERS!
Colleen:
LOL on already knowing the ending. :-)
And thanks for your kind thoughts. I do feel like if I can ever get past the muscle wasting stuff going on right now, a yoga class or something along those lines will go a long way toward getting me OUT of this house. :-)
Jude;
Good point--even if it's just folding some laundry, getting a task DONE is important to my state of mind.
Kath:
Love that analogy, too!!! Fall is slowing coming, and I seem to be much happier in fall and winter. The weather agrees with me! Here's to blue skies.
xo
How do I climb out of the hole? In the last year or so there's been a number of times I've gotten back up because of you.
Cuz really, E, if you can keep going, I can keep going... and it's really not the number of times you get knocked on your ass, it's whether or not the number of times you dust yourself off exceeds them.
Was worried that Crohn's was the cause of your silence so I prayed (hope you don't mind).
When I hit the PIT I switch and journal.
That gets it all out without hurting myself or anyone. hen I play Clapton on the MP3 and walk until I'm tired.
Here's to a better week!
I feel like I've been in a hole for a while now. I've practically abandoned all writing that makes me feel good. I've neglected my blog and my fiction. My kids are moving out and moving on and I miss them terribly. My shoulder causes pain every single day, even to the point of tears. I hate my job. :(
I have to go back to my fiction.
Yes I know the hole of which you speak. I'm just fighting my way out now.
Feel better soon. Sending you healing thoughts.
And wash those dogs in Dawn dishwashing soap. Suds up, leave for a minute or two rinse and repeat and then watch all the dead fleas go down the drain. Make sure you rinse well or they will have itchy skin. Follow with Frontline.
oh yeah...and I send prayers out into the Universe.
merry:
Aww . . . sniffle. Love you!
Mary:
Did you see Mark's clip?? (5th comment).
Kindred souls around here.
And I never mind prayers. :-)
Aimless:
Bought flea shampoo, barely worked. Frontline . . .
But did NOT try Dawn! Thanks for the tip!!!
--E
P.S. Come back to the writing. :-)
I am so sorry about your dog. The rest will pass, but pups leave unfillable gaps. Hole, indeed.
I'm in a bit of a hole myself this week, entirely writing-related. One of those times when I wonder just what the fuck I'm doing.
This is helpful, a bit of a kick in the ass, actually. I mean, true I didn't sleep until 3 am last night (up at 7) and I came into it exhausted, but I'm not in pain (not just right now, anyway). And, as far as I know, everyone's caught up on their assignments! So I think I'll read a bit and maybe sleep a little more and if I'm up to it, take my kid to the zoo.
Yes. Here's to a better week for sure.
Starbucks:
Amen to that!
Good to hear you're coming out of it. Bad to hear how deep it got.
I'm so sorry about your baby. It's hard when we lose the furry children. They're with us such a short time. And they give so much love.
DB is always going to be DB. It's learning what works with this new phase in his life that's tricky. I don't blame him. School's not my thing either. I love learning. It's the pace of the classroom that kills me. I can imagine a rigid structure isn't his thing.
We make a lemon rosemary spray to try and keep the fleas off the animals. It's worked in the past. Not so much this year. We're inundated with spiders here. Not a bad thing when it comes to insect control.
As for me and writing, I'm involved with a writing community. Volunteering with SCBWI keeps me plugged in and helps when I'm swamped with life. Lately it was the non-stop day job - which I really don't do well with working OT. This coming weekend is our critique retreat. I'm looking forward to immersing myself.
Hi Sarah:
As a mother, all you want is your babies (furry and human) to be happy. DB is facing the first forays into how the rest of the world conforms. And he is struggling to make sense of it all. :-(
Oh, man. I couldn't take it. I killed myself after reading about having to put your dog to sleep. I'm writing from beyond the grave.
If I were alive, (which I'm not), I'd say that I get distracted out of holes by work. I kind of have to put aside my own hole to help others out of theirs, and then when I want to go back to mine at the end of the day, I find that it's covered up!
Nothing, oh nothing, puts me in a worse hole than something wrong with my kids. The English paper thing would make me insane, as would the kindergarten scenario.
Robin:
I can deal with my sh*t a LOT easier than my kids' stuff.
And yes, I am grateful for being busy. It is a distraction.
Robin:
And P.S., I just conveyed that through a seance. Let me know how the great beyond is.
:-)
I'm so sorry. For everything. :(
I'm deep in a hole. I keep thinking things will get better but right now nothing is. I've been trying hard to think of SOMETHING positive and realized I have't seen a machine gun in seven months. THAT'S a good thing. And my blog topic for Friday. :)
Also, I love Robin.
I was worried about you when you didn't post. I'm glad you are coming out of the hole.
((hugs)) ((hugs)) ((hugs))
To get out of my holes, I usually spend some time watching my favorite movies. Richard Curtis, John Hughes and Nora Ephron have a way of cheering me up.
melanie:
Counting your blessings is an AWESOME habit.
:-)
Thanks, Frenchie! And thanks as always for your cards. WE (Dynamo Boy and Me) love 'em.
Nadine:
Me too!! :-)
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