Validation
An anonymous troll left a nasty comment for me yesterday on my blog. This blog has, for me, always been about mostly craft, occasionally motherhood, a little about industry, a little about spirituality, life, and so on. What amuses me so much is that I blogged about my book and its journey--for me. In the five years I have blogged, I have had two nasty anonymous comments (yesterday's included), one proposal from a soldier in Iraq (sorry, buddy . . . it's a no), and one person who sent me what I considered an intrusive note about Demon Baby. For five years, that's not a bad record.
And I wonder if so much of the sniping that goes on is still people searching for validation as writers. As I blogged not too long ago, if you want to create a book about your grocery lists for the last ten years, go ahead. If you want to publish your grocery lists and call yourself an author . . . well, go ahead. Am I going to buy it? Not likely. Would I buy a Kindle book by this guy? Heck, yeah. And really . . . go buy his books.
The funny thing? I feel very "validated" when I see my Magickeepers hardcover books (which, Troll, earned out before the second one was even published), or my shelves of books, spine out, my name there. But I loathe signings, hate public speaking . . . don't like doing appearances. I am not "validated" by that. And I am a thousand times more thrilled when I hear from kids, or if kids approach me in public here in my hometown and ask, "Are you Erica Kirov?" than I ever feel from grownups (hence, as long-time know, my often saying I am an actuary when I am out in public--which is even more hilarious now that I actually KNOW an actuary!).
When I edit people's manuscripts . . . I have had MANY an unpublished author say, "Wow . . . this process made me feel like a real writer. This was so cool."
For some it's process. For some it's critique groups. For some it's a by-line on a website. We search for external validation in some fashion or another. But in the end, I have this blog because I AM a writer. It's how I process the world, and while I enjoy my own journey . . . the validation is just a piece of it. I have a half-dozen "almost finished" books that I abandoned (maybe for now, maybe forever), and let me tell you, though they may never, ever see the light of day . . .
I still had a ball writing them. :-)
But mostly . . . namaste. Because I really don't need nasty anonymous posters. This is a blog for craft and life.
28 comments:
It seems miraculous to me that you've just received a couple of nasty posts. I suspect most highly-read blogs get more.
And that brings up something about writing. When you write something, you put your name on it (or a pen name tied back to you). You take responsibility for it. Newspaper writers do that too.
Except for a few special cases, I detest anonymous writing. If you don't have the guts to stand up for what you write, I don't have the time to read it.
A couple of possible exceptions--abused people or whistle blowers trying to expose massive wrongs at great risk.
WTG Penguin. Great company. Right. It's authors like you who make their overhead so high that ebooks from the big publishing companies border on unaffordable. Thanks.
Yes, we are part of The Evil Empire of traditional publishing, conspiring to empty the pockets of innocent readers worldwide. Bwahahahaha.
Good grief.
Hi Joe:
In general, this blog is not controversial, and I strive very much to accord every single visitor respect. So my track record . . . I hope is a reason I don't get a lot of ugly comments.
Jude:
I know. It's authors like me who have written 20+ novels, and entertained people, and cared about craft, and . . . and . . .
All I blogged about was my OWN book's journey and being excited by the new title and so on. And to accord a compliment to the team of people I happen to work with.
I've been thinking a lot lately about a blogging friend who had to close up shop and disappear from the internet because of the anonymous trolls. I miss her.
Her blog was The Bride Wore Magenta. *sigh* Anti-Muslim sentiment reigns supreme still and I don't expect her back anytime soon.
Two comments in five years is a great record. Did you know blogger is introducing Spam comment areas that we should be checking just like Spam folders? Not everyone has them yet. I don't think they tell you when you have something there either, but I'm not sure. I don't think it will stop the Trolls, just the stupid advertising.
When do I feel like a writer? When I'm taking time off from writing and the words keep popping into my head and I have to write anyway.
;-)
Thanks for the kudo. And only 2 trolls out of all those posts is pretty great.
You know, I'm really ambivalent about the Kindle e-books thing overall. I would, ultimately, be far happier if e-books weren't coming out at all and the total drive for most novelists was to get a standard contract w/an advance & royalties, etc., from a traditional publisher. I.e., life as of 10 years ago. I'm frankly a little annoyed that just as I'm starting to get a lock on traditional publishing the game's changing on me.
I'm not much of a Luddite, but in this I sort of am. That said, I'm willing to experiment and see how things work out.
I also feel that I'm unwilling to just take all my unpublished manuscripts and put them up on Kindle. I was looking at doing so with the follow up to Dirty Deeds, but when I read it again (until the manuscript computer file degraded) I just didn't think it was strong enough to warrant being published, at least not in the midst of my current works.
And the kids' books are a bit of a different thing. I like them and The Battle For Atlantis was a near-miss with several publishers, but I wanted them published so my kids could read them. Hence the 99 cent price tag. If someone else values them and wants to read them, well, I hope you enjoy, but in this case it was sort of done for me.
And I had plans to publish The Fortress of Diamonds, which I had recently written, but in going over it by the time I got to the end I decided I really didn't like it very much, so it's not being published.
On the other hand, I'm doing edits for another Kindle title, Hot Money, that I hope to get out in the next month or so and am struck by just how strong it is. And a number of publishers thought so, too, although apparently not strongly enough to actually publish it. I had even discussed it with my current publisher, but they're focused on publishing and marketing the Derek Stillwater novels and declined to look at it (my editor said she'd love to, but they wouldn't be planning to publish even if they loved it... welcome to business).
It feels to me that unpublished writers who throw up their books on Kindle and announce to the world that they're now novelists may or may not be kidding themselves, but there may really be a difference between what they're producing and what traditionally published writers are producing and I assume readers will eventually figure that out.
I think writers who just throw up their efforts without really deciding why they're doing it and whether it's really professionally written can really hurt themselves in the long run. But then again, it's their life, so who cares?
Regarding the anonymous commenter from your blog of yesterday, I posted a response to it. Why? Because he/she tried to ruin two of my friends, you and Natasha. Not nice. Plus, he/she couldn't strap on the balls to post a name, acting like a drive-by-shooter, which tells me he/she can't back up one single claim made.
Screw Anonymous, but may he/she find some peace in their dark and dreary life.
Moving on...
I feel validation every time I write, re-write, self-edit, and receive edits. Seeing one poem published was a great high, but receiving an unvarnished edit by a REAL editor transcended my writing to a higher level. That's what it's all about - becoming better because writers become that with every word written, mind open and the knowledge that we never know all there is to know about craft.
((HUGS))
Sarah:
I LOVED (!!!!!!) her blog. Loved it! That is awful. She had a great voice as a writer, too, I thought, just from her posts.
Mark:
Yeah, I have had a good run as far as trolls. As for the new model, so to speak . . . I think I will eventually put stuff up on Kindle, but I will be VERY selective.
AND THAT is because I've been working at craft for 20 years and know how to be selective.
Kath:
I had five or six poems published in a couple of feminist journals 20 years ago, and a short story published by The Rockford Review, and seeing my name in print those times was a HUGE thrill. I felt . . . yes, I really can write.
:-)
Oh wow. Sheesh. (I just went back to read.) I didn't realize my comment was so inflammatory! Hah! LOL! Okay now that cracks me up. I'll really try to tone the compliments down from now on. *snort*
You know, I was a writer toiling and getting published in private for a couple years before I joined RWA, and the sudden shock that I wasn't considered a "real writer" threw me for a loop, particularly when I had published more and was making more than lots of those "real writers." I love the friends I made locally, but other than that, bah.
There are fleeting moments of validation, but they're all fleeting. While I'm happy when they come along, and I really do try to milk them for all the encouragement they offer, I don't search for them. Writing, to me, is just sitting down every day.
As far as the NY vs. self, I just consider self-publishing as another publisher. It's just another option. When I have a story, it's just simple budgeting for me: Will it sell to NY? If yes, proceed to agent querying. If it's too niche, then do you need money right away? If yes, sell to my current pubs. If no, then self-publish. I haven't made it to option #1 or #3 yet, but I fully intend to do both.
(Small presses have their use, too. For me, it's not the right path, but they definitely have their place.)
As always, I just have to write faster!
I'm developing a plan to sell one of my books in order to donate the proceeds. It's not all good will; there's a lot of value in cross promotion and a marketing platform like that can help me, too.
I decided pretty quickly that I wasn't going to self- publish because of a lot of reasons, but mostly because I so highly value the marketplace speaking and the editing process.
Would I ever lamblast some one for self-pubbing, especially if they're making good? Hell no. Validation? I'm not making the connection there. That person was just a whiny rejectee. And hey, haven't we all been there? I sure as hell have.
Namaste indeed.
Oh, and obviously she (really think it's a she, dunno why) has no concept of how little advances are, especially these days. Sheesh.
Erica, MAGICKEEPERS is next on my son's TBR pile. :)
Natasha:
I like your thinking. I write commercial fiction, for the most part . . . so most of the time, I think I have books that fit the NY pub thing. I'm working on a mommy memoir of Dynamo Boy and me. If my agent gets interest, I'll sell it to NY. If not, I have contacts at a couple of small pubs over the years who have approached me. Or I could Kindle it and develop a website and so on. It's business.
And as for your treatment at RWA. I never joined. I am not into pecking orders. Period. Loathe the idea. All I have said, for the most part, on self-pubbing is craft-craft-craft. Like Mark said . . . make sure it's publishable.
E
Starbucks:
As far as validation, I just meant why would anyone CARE about what I blogged about my book process. If "she" (let's say it's a she) is content with her Kindle stat (as well she should be) then why does she need any more validation--why does what Penguin charges, or my getting an advance or any of it matter in her world.
When I said (in my original post) that things don't leave my fingers and go up on Kindle the next day, I believe that's valid. The self-pubbers who are getting their work evaluated, critiqued, edited, who are working diligently SHOULD want to see a distinction between what they do and what someone who slaps up anything that pops out of their brain puts up.
I visited a link on Smashwords today by an author who had previously been traditionally published and now self-pubbed something. The writing was SO convoluted and poorly edited, and I wondered if she realized how much she really needs an editor. There might be a good story in there somewhere, but she needs someone to pull or coach it out of her.
Erica,
You do accord people respect. I see this as a popular and highly-read blog with comments from a range of people. Personally, I feel not just respected, but supported, by what you do here.
Thanks, Joe. :-) Have a great weekend!
I love writing, but I'm mired in self-doubt and can't get the motivation to edit my MG story. I'll get there, but not today.
Every writer's journey is different--currently, I'm sitting at the edge of the road watching other writers chug along.
I think I'll read.
I've angered a few folks and gotten some nasty comments and even emails. I even have one lady who sends me a weekly reminder that it is cruel to hold fish out of water. She keeps urging me to remove that fish picture as if it is happening live and I walk around all day everyday toting that bass.
I usually ignore them but this one lady is witty enough I often reply. She's invited me to dinner should I ever make it out to California though she of course wnats to feed me lettuce.
magolla:
I think every writer's journey is different. And it often differs day to day--and even hour to hour.
Travis:
That's hilarious! I just love you!
Sorry about the nasty troll. And not even the guts to post with a name. What a sad sad individual.
Erica, I love your blog. It inspires me. Thank you.
Thanks, Nadine
Oh, and obviously she (really think it's a she, dunno why) has no concept of how little advances are, especially these days. Sheesh.
Oh I know how little they are. Again, good luck paying it off with your 8%.
You need a traditional publisher to "accept" you in order to feel validated? Talk about pathetic. Publishing, as an industry, has become an oligarchy. They're nothing but tyrants, and the biggest names out there are writing drivel for the most part.
Your publisher may not exist in five years. It may not even exist in two. What then, Ms. Being CHOSEN Makes Me Special?
Publishers won't hold the reigns anymore. Readers will make the decisions and drive what's popular, not publishers. Open your eyes. It's the wild west out there. You're not going to survive if you keep your head in the sand.
Anonymous:
I have no idea what anything this blog on craft has done to invoke your pathetic, anonymous ire.
Apparently you are illiterate. Because if you can READ, you would see that my post was about PEACE. My post was also about the fact that I have books that I feel sure will remain unpublished for various reasons--but that I feel NO LESS validated over because I simply had fun writing them.
Go crawl back under your rock.
Hello, little troll. Don't feel too bad that you are not, and never will be, good enough to be published. Most writers aren't. But it's fun to pretend, isn't it? I bet you hang around the local coffee shop wearing a beret and tapping on a laptop, looking oh so deep in thought while you hop from blog to blog to blog and annoy people you feel inferior to. Free range rude is what we call your kind, little troll, so please go peddle your poo elsewhere. And try to find some help for the delusions. They will only get worse with time.
E - Thought you said you picked up a Troll. I didn't realize you'd picked up a comedian.
Had me in stitches, I tell you. (Obviously does not know you well at all.)
LOL, honestly, I had to giggle too. I can't say as I know you all that well, LOL, but somehow I just don't see you as a person who seeks validation. We all enjoy it if it comes, but seek it? LOL!
I agree with you about pecking orders. What I feel is outright WRONG is the way RWA segregates. I was born in '73, so there was absolutely no (legal) segregation in the United States in my lifetime. And growing up in Ohio, I was indoctrinated with the simple belief that segregation is wrong, no gray area. I guess for the older crowd who lived with it... maybe they don't mind? I don't know.
So the way RWA charges everyone the same and then blatantly segregates, giving some members more benefits than others, allowing some members in some places but not others, just totally hits one of my buttons.
And you know me! I'm usually sitting in the I-understand-both-sides area, not the black-and-white area. But segregation? No. I can't do it. I can't support it. It's just black-and-white wrong to me, and I just don't understand how it continues, year after year.
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