Be Nice to Your Bartender
There's a fairly consistent thread in all my books. Be nice to your bartender.
And no, not so he or she pours you a heavy drink. Be nice to your bartender or server, the person who slings your eggs at the diner, the man who delivers your Chinese food . . . be EXTRA nice, not because they can spit in your food (though that is wise advice because of it), but because I have done that job--bartender, waitress, blackjack dealer--on my feet, a single mother, tired and worried if I didn't get enough tips I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage. I've been there and KNOW how hard it is to get by hustling tips. I know how hard it is to be nice to people even when they are condescending and think they are better than you are. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for soldiers, because they invariably would hear I was a single mom at this one bar I worked at, and would slip me an extra twenty for diapers, and tell me I reminded them of my kid sister and I should find a nice guy to take care of me instead of having to work until 2:00 a.m.
And so . . . in my books, there are often waiters and waitresses and bartenders. I set scenes in restaurants. And there is a line in the sand. If you see a character be at all demeaning to a server or bartender in my books, chances are he or she is going to get killed off. Because there is NOTHING (or at least not many things) I loathe more than people who treat service people like crap--and that includes housekeepers, hotel chambermaids, bellhops and so on. I have refused to return phone calls after dates from men who I felt condescended to service people. Life is WAY too short for men like that in my life. WAY too short. And so . . . that's this little thing that somehow ends up in all my books. It's a Philosophy of How You Treat People, if you will.
Other little quirky things that end up in my books? Characters who put ketchup on scrambled eggs. If they do? They can be trusted. It's a NYC thing. We ALL do it from Manhattan and that area. And so somehow, I make the good guys like their eggs that way.
People who get down on one knee in my books to look a child in the eye to converse with the child? Definitely the good guy.
Geeks who can fix computers? Good guys. I LOVE geeky men. Pocket protectors are kind of cute. If they love MATH? Oh . . . very sexy.
What else? My characters often light candles in cathedrals regardless of their faith. My characters all pray. I know that seems weird since romantic comedies or women's fiction don't often have people who pause to pray--but they do in my books.
Nan in Diary of a Blues Goddess? She said, "If God takes you to it, he'll take you through it." My characters have faith.
Drag queens? Always sweetie-pies. Based on a queen or two I know. (As I wave hi.) Gay marriage? Makes it in there sometimes. Lilies of the Valley? ALWAYS the flower of choice of characters. Gardenias? The scent my characters love.
My books aren't me. But I'm there all the way through in the way bits of me drift in. So how are YOU present in your pages???
And ladies and gentlemen? Tip your bartender well!
14 comments:
One thing I'm doing is having older women in my books. My characters don't have perfect bodies -- and it's not a big deal. My whole book isn't about them not having perfect bodies. Also, I noticed lately that my heroines are more likely than the heroes to be the sexual aggressors in the love scene. And my characters pray, even when they aren't sure if they believe in a God. I have to watch that I don't use that line in my next book.
I worked as a waitress too. Though that was a long time ago, we always tip well.
I live in a tourist town, which means that even many of the professionals with advanced degrees have service industry jobs, either as their regular, full-time work or to supplement their day jobs. It's really hard to be condescended to by some out-of-towner who does not know what the economy is like here and probably has a lesser degree than many of us do. Our consolation is that we get to live someplace that is absolutely gorgeous, while the people who are rude to us and look down on us have to go back to their soulless suburbs and suffer through their miserable commutes for another 50 weeks, waiting for a chance to get to spend two weeks doing what we can do every single day off, and many of our evenings. Because of this, everyone I know from here is very generous with those in the service industry--we've all worked in it, or still do, or have friends and family who do/did. And guess what? That girl behind the counter is a real person with real feelings, and she's probably not a brainless idiot just because she's running a cash register.
So there. :-D
edie:
I have never had a character worry about her body. They are all real women. Amen to that.
E
booklady:
I routinely tip 25%, 30% or more for great service. Even if I have crappy service, unless it's rude, I tend to think of it as a person with an off night. Yesterday at IHOP, we had S-L-O-W service, but the woman at the end, said, "I'm so sorry we've been insanely busy today" (which they were) and we started talking. Single mom, two jobs, one baby in diapers. We left a big tip--I won't miss it and it may make someone else's day for a few dollars.
E
Lately, I've been letting my characters be imperfect. So that's what my work says about me, LOL. A theme of self-acceptance and acceptance of others tends to be a big one, too.
In my opinion, there's just no reason not to treat people with respect, stranger or no, whatever job they have, until they give you a reason not to.
A lot of my husband's snark slips into my heros. He's warped the way I view the English language forever.
As to the bartender, waitress thing, when I was still dating, I decided if a guy was getting a second date almost solely based on how he treated the service people we encountered, and if he tipped well. (Not too much to impress me, but fairly.)
After that it was all about how he treated his mother, and if animals liked him.
Zoe:
Sounds like perfect dating criteria!
Spy:
My heroines have always been, in my opinion, HUGELY imperfect. But deep down, they are good people. Which is how I feel about myself.
E
I think that's the key--the diner usually won't miss the added 1-2 dollars, but it really can make a difference to the one being tipped, even if it just makes them feel better.
That is exactly how my mom likes her eggs and trust me she's never been anywhere Manhattan, unless we are talking Kansas.
Travis:
Then she is a righteous lady by me.
E
Loved this post!
It's true. I think we all put our own traits (or traits we love in others) into our good characters. I always name the evil people after those I hated in High School and I make them fat.
:P
Bartender? Waitress? Been there, done that. I always tip heavy and never let anyone mouth off to them. Defending my own...
Aimless:
LOL! I made my awful high school math teacher the Most Evil Teacher EVER in my YA "High School Bites."
In the book, they nickname her Mrs. Ruthless. I never tell her name I don't think.
And her REAL name isn't far off that, ironically.
E
Silly NYC'ers... ketchup is for pancakes (and french toast, and waffles) and tabasco is for eggs.
GEEKS? You hit the mutha-load here!
And yes, I too pulled a lot of service industry jobs: bus-boy, waiter, host, bartender, bouncer... even did a stint as a floor-guard in a roller-skating rink.
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