One of Those Days
Yeah . . . I mean THOSE days.
It doesn't matter what predicated it, but I had one of THOSE days. I've had insomnia for a few days. I'm tried (in the extreme), in pain most of the time, crabby, there's too much housework. And did I mention my ceiling is ripped out in my kitchen? Oh, yes, those Demon Baby floods have finally taken their toll. There is dust everywhere, even in my coffee pot, and in the midst of this, my new editor requested some changes, and I realized he works very differently from my last editor. Not worse . . . or better . . . just different. And as a writer, I must adapt. Did I mention no sleep?
And so I wondered. Why the HELL did I want to be a writer anyway?
Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . you're sort of born a writer. You can't give it up. It's in your blood. Blah, blah, blah. But am I having fun?
Um, yesterday? No.
Today? Not so much.
But I am reminded of a great quote by Shaw:
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
Oldest Daughter came into my room last night. I was distraught. And she said, "Why don't you conisder all this stress a positive and see what you learn about yourself and being a better writer out of it."
Well . . . damn her. You would think she was raised by some Buddha-spouting mother or something. Go figure.
So today . . . I am having one of THOSE days. You know the ones. The type where I LEARN something about who I am.
How about you? What kind of day are YOU going to have?
22 comments:
Well, I'm not getting to write, but I am mailing off some submissions, so that's good. And I am going up to the lake. So all in all, pretty good. BUT...
I've been weepy over my foot. Summer's almost over! And it has held up my whole summer and fun wit my kids.
EXCEPT, we had a friend's kid horribly injured in a car accident last week, and not only is he surviving, but becoming this hard-working pillar of strength for his family and for the community... He's yet another example of thriving under adversity and he's only 13.
So maybe it's perspective?
I think it's okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little bit. It's okay to grieve what's lost, even if it's trips to the zoo with your kids or the day you spent in bed.
Maybe this is your psyche telling you to give yourself a bit of time, a day or two off. Enjoy your family, maybe, and just hang out. Read a fun book or a trashy magazine, even for an hour, rather than laying there thinking of all the stuff you SHOULD be doing. :)
I hope you feel better soon, Erica! Insomnia sucks.
Starbucks:
Funny . . . when you are the head of a household, you generally have no one to take care of YOU. And when I have insomnia . . . the first thing I feel is VULNERABLE, which is just foreign to me. So that's a piece of it.
E
You mean, like, you chaperoned band camp so you got about 4 hours of sleep, your iPhone died (again), you've got 2 interviews scheduled because you're leaving town tomorrow, one is late so you'll miss an event...
Breathe, Ms. Orloff. Breathe.
I'm reminded of a section in "Tuesday's With Morrie" by Mitch Albom in which Morrie Schwatrz told Mitch that he allowed himself a cry every morning, and then that was all. He got on with living. That seems wise and sane to me. It's like saying to your discomfort, "Thanks for sharing, now sit down and be quiet because I've got a lot of living to do."
Ah, if only it could be one of those days and not one of those weeks/months/years!
I'm caring for my dying 10-year-old dog and every day with him is a bonus day. So while its sad, every meal, treat and tail wag is a celebration and makes it a good day instead of a bad one.
Your oldest daughter sounds wise beyond her years. What a treasure to say something like that!
I also love that quote by Shaw. I very strongly agree with his sentiments, but hadn't heard that quote before. Thanks for sharing it :)
Sorry to hear about the insomnia. I hope that you can get some sleep soon :/
I hope I have a productive day. On a non-work front, I will be seeing my sister-in-law tonight so it could go either way.
I'm having a good day so far, but I've been where you are many times, and most recently I spent a month under a great deal of stress, and it tore me apart emotionally and physically, until I decided not to let it..I just simply decided I was powerless to change things,accept myself, and it did wonders, at least for me. I feel a lot better, and I just ignor everything else...Good luck with the new editor, and just let it all go.
Bummer about the insomnia. The last time I had it was when I worked nights and tried to sleep during the day. Don't mess with me about day five, my sense of humor goes out the window.
I hoped my cures (Tylenol PM, warm milk) would have helped, but it doesn't sound like it. I think your brain is in overdrive and you are thinking about so many things that it can't shut off.
I'm not very New Age, but have you tried meditation? Still your body and then your mind.
So sorry. Good luck with the new editor.
Erica, I'm sorry sleep is eluding you. I'm sure that just amplifies every other thing that goes wrong.
Today I will learn a little about how all you parents function with less sleep than you're used to. The puppy has escaped his cage both nights so far (he's TEENY) and I've been up and down our four flights of stairs more times than I care to count.
Sending my best wishes your way. Sleep, sleep. You are feeling very sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier.
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Did it work?
Sometimes the lessons are hard. I'm rooting for you!
Mark:
Breathing is overrated. LOL!
E
Beth:
Funny . . . YEARS ago, I was always mindful to employ that technique. Every time I landed back in the hospital with Crohn's disease, I would give myself one hour to feel sorry for myself. Then I'd adopt the "it is what it is" approach and move on.
E
Amy:
My "those days" seem to run in weeks or clumps, definitely.
E
Lauren:
I know. Constantly impressed with her wisdom.
E
Lee:
Thanks. I mean it. I really need to let go, and today, I am trying to do that.
E
magolla:
When the insomnia gets bad, I do the Advil PM thing. Though lately . . . not doing the trick.
I do meditate. I also walk . . . light candles. BREATHE. LOL!
And if anyone needs a laugh, you can head on over to the Demon Baby blog to see the state of my kitchen.
E
Melanie:
Yeah . . . that four flights thing. Many of my Manhattan friends have little dogs, and basically use the "pee" pads or whatever . . . just saves them the whole issue.
E
FF:
Alas. No. Wired. LOL!
E
Today is one of those days where I am a mother, wife, and daughter all at the same time. Right now I have three hats and one head.
Oh my. Hope you're done learning for now and having one of those other days.
Have you tried valerian root? I find that does help me when the insomnia goes on for days.
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