Myth
My BFF (yeah, I'm a dork) read my blog from earlier where I wrote about tempting Fate by saying I had "turned the corner." She wrote me, and I quote, "Don't tempt the fates. Those ladies don't like you." About the fourth time I threw up today, I thought, "Indeed she is right."
But here's the funny thing. [And really, if you can't laugh about this stuff . . . you'd cry, so I'll take Mirth--and a shout-out to my Mirth Maker, you know who you are.]
I pondered how MYTH and WORLD-BUILDING are part of my life.
For example, I don't think of Crohn's as a disease. I think of it as a foreign entity, an ENEMY. It is a real and pitched battle and IT is not going to beat me. I say this as mad as a hornet's nest that it is beating me right now, but I am going to [children, cover your eyes] f*cking win. I will.
The tempt Fates thing. I kind of believe that. I knock wood when I speak of death or something bad. Superstitious that way.
I think of the battle of Good versus Evil. But I have friends who are avowed atheists, and they think of the world as simply . . . a series of accidents and physics. There's no battle between Good versus Evil. Those things don't exist. Everything is . . . just as it is. No value assigned.
I think, lately, since I am disgusted with a few things and people in my real life . . . about Truth. About standing up for What Is Right. About Justice. I capitalize them because though I know Truth is relative, I believe in Standing for Something. Even if that Something is . . . WORDS.
When the Universe grants me those moments of grandeur (which simply means I am not to sick to notice them--they're almost always there), I think of those wondrous moments as Miracles. As Beauty.
And so I realize from when I get up to when I go to bed, from my first morning prayer to my last thoughts before I go to sleep, my world is a Mythology. And it leaks by nature into my writing. My characters believe in Good versus Evil. They believe in Standing for Something. They don't tempt the Fates.
So what worldview do you find is part of the world you build?
20 comments:
I believe, firmly, that we ARE all connected. That the smallest of coincidences are sometimes the biggest miracles. That if you're eyes are open then you can notice those miracles. I will send thoughts, prayers, strength your way. You are stronger than this enemy. I know it.
I was revisting a chapter where wife dies and wrote. Faith is believing in justice. Cruelty is learning life isn't fair. Acceptance is having faith that injustice is not cruel but merely a fact of life.
Can't decide if it makes sense.
Heather:
I'm on board with that myth/reality too. :-)
Richmond . . . .
In nearly every book I've written (I presume them all . . . I'd have to check, but . . .) at some point SOMEONE says what the Myths are (a.k.a. . . . Theme.)
And I think that makes PERFECT sense. Very wise.
As Pollyann-ish as this sounds, I truly believe that people can change, and that's what I bring to the table when I write. Nature is evolution; our environment affects who we are. I believe good will always blanket bad. You know, Karma can either be a harsh mistress or a true blessing depending on how you view it.
P.S. I believe your resolve to win is stronger than Chrons.
kath:
I spent an evening with a physicist once who . . . discounted karma, good/evil, all of it. It was kind of interesting to me, because . . . I think as a WRITER, I take for granted certain myths and themes as part of the world and don't even much think about them being there.
And thanks. ROUGH morning so far, but . . . you know, I'm a tough cookie.
Yesterday was a bad day, made worse by DB telling me, "Grownups can't be sick like this, Mom." He just cannot fathom this, even as I was telling him sometimes Mommies ARE sick . . . and it makes me sad, but he and I will muddle through it together. Love my Little Man.
I think my biggest unspoken theme is that none of us are right and none of us are wrong--especially when it comes to faith-- and that the world is bigger than any of us can comprehend. As I write SCAR I realize how deeply I've embedded myself into that theme, too.
I'm with DB. Mommies aren't supposed to be so sick. I'm so sorry. Sending love and prayers from way over here! (waves)
starbucks:
I LOVE (!!!!) the idea that the world is bigger than any of us can imagine. Even with my interest in quantum physics . . . I think that started when I realized the world of the SMALL was smaller than I could imagine . . . so this "infinite" concept was just mind-blowing to me.
My best friend always mocks me for struggling to understand movies like the first Matrix, for example. Because to me it's that same sort of theme. There's so much more than any of us can imagine.
Thanks for the thoughts. I really do appreciate them. :-)
xo
E
Oh, Erica, I hope you feel better! I admire your spirit. Funny what you BFF said. :-)
I wish I could "fight" asthma. I get angry at times, but it's my own body malfunctioning. While I'd like to cut my lungs out, at times, it's just not practical. :D
Natasha:
Yeah. I think you need lungs. :-)
Starbucks, your logic is brilliant and my favorite philosophy. It says that there's more out there than the tangible, which is what keeps the mystery of life flowing as well as infinite possibilities. :-)
Erica, DB's innocent viewpoint is quite true. In the family hierarchy, moms are caregivers, and it's so hard to realize them in any other position. I felt the same way as DB when my mom had cancer - at the time I was in my forties, old enough to realize that shit happens, but still grasping the innocent naivete that silently spoke what your DB feels.
Kath:
Yesterday, I vomited a bunch of times . . . and I was in a helluva lot of pain and after working a few hours, decided to rest on the couch. No sooner had I settled there, that he came to me with my crutches and wanted me to go in the kitchen to look at a cereal box. I said, "bring me the cereal box here and I'll look at it." But that wouldn't do. Then he called me a "baby." [Which is weird, since no one ever gets called names like that in our house, but he is in kindergarten readiness camp, so go friggin' figure.] I said, "I'm not a baby. I'm sick." And then he said, "Moms can't be sick." So he's processing it . . . and I hear you about that seismic shift in the thinking that he's going through.
Thanks, Kath and Erica.
It's interesting to talk about it. I don't, much. I've thought it for a long time, but a lot of people really don't like not having the answers, so I don't bring it up a lot.
I believe that truth is in the mind of the beholder.
I believe justice exists, but it's not always where or what you want it to be.
I believe shit happens for no particular reason.
I believe in the coincidence miracles that Heather mentioned.
I believe that something is watching over me and has been for a long time.
I believe I've lived before and will again.
I believe too many people are concerned about the inconsequential and will die never knowing how beautiful life can really be - which is very sad.
I believe that everything I have survived has made me who I am today and I would not change a thing because of that.
I know how DB feels. I was sick with the flu and wanting something from my poor mother who was also sick. She opened my eyes to that fact and I got up and got it myself as I was healthier than her by then. I think I was 14 when that happened. So DB is getting the lesson at a very young age. He'll be stronger, more well rounded for it.
"It is never easy, sweet child, to have a real gift; something else is withheld to compensate."
Anne McCaffrey in Dragonsinger
This is an interesting post/conversation.
I usually try to keep my mythology out of my stories and my characters, and allow them to organically develop their own... of course I can still see some of me creeping in but it does allow me explore various points-of-view that I might now necessarily have explored (or wanted to explore) before.
Erica, I can totally see where DB would be confused by what you are going through. If you want a reality check from his world, just ask him who you are for him, like an interview. In his world you are so much bigger than you let yourself be in your own world. In fact, with most of your friends, if you asked them the same kind of questions, you would probably get the same answer - that you are so much more for them than you occur for yourself.
I went through that exercise with my girls and it was almost embarrassing how much bigger and better I am in their world. Why I don't see myself the same way is a mystery, but it would be awesome if my occurrence of myself were in line with theirs.
Right now I am working on a chapter where the MC is talking to his nemesis - essentially the villain of the story. The context of the conversation is many years after their conflict (40+ years or so) and they have become reconciled with each other and in fact are now close friends. Their beliefs didn't change as much as they shifted based on the outcome of their original conflict. The irony of the situation makes it such a delicious chapter to write that I am taking a really long time to finish it because it is so much fun to write.
Oh man ... I just caught up on my blog reading and I was super bummed to hear about your week! But you're right: you're a tough cookie. I can only imagine how hard it must be to watch DB accept this illness and process it, but I'm sure one of the messages he'll also get is that you ARE tough and you've never let anything get in the way of your mothering. There is the illness, and there is you, and they are NOT the same thing.
And p.s., the copy editor thing was too funny! I would have responded via e-mail, except for some reason, my web mail's not working. I'll "see" you soon!
Sarah:
Love all yours. Wisdom . . . great wisdom, my friend.
ewoh:
I think it's really hard to keep our mythologies separate . . . tricky, indeed.
As for DB . . . he believes I am a pirate, so I imagine he does not believe pirates can get sick. :-)
Jon:
Wasn't it HYSTERICAL?!?! AND . . . I know how much you and I love that word. :-)
Post a Comment