World Series Time--Your Pitch

It's that time, blog friends, when a woman's heart turns from the boys of summer to the play-offs of fall, to the World Series . . . if the baseball gods have smiled upon her beloved team. And this year, sports fans, they have.

So in honor of the World Series . . . today . . . the Pitch! And yes, you shall all suffer through a baseball-themed series of blog posts.

I am often, amused by writers who feel "the writing is enough" and don't have a pitch down pat or a hook of any particular sort. The writing can most definitely be enough for literary fiction, but I don't believe I have ever engaged in that particular conversation with anyone writing literary fiction.

I think the agents and editors are sometimes viewed as the Enemy Team (in this case, the Phillies!). Some writers see them as gatekeepers holding back scores of talented writers from seeing the light of day. Instead, I think it would be helpful to view them as your readers and the pitch as the state of the modern decision.

Genius has blogged about Readers' Requirements (scroll down to 10/19). I have blogged about time constraints on readers. And entertainment choices. And while many of of book lovers adore nothing more than aimlessly wandering through stacks of glorious books . . . in the end, when I make a DECISION to purchase, it's a gut thing. Does the book grab me? Yes, what grabs me may not be what grabs you. Someone may be more patient. Someone may want sci-fi or a certain genre. I get all that, but it has to GRAB me. Intrigue me. Tantalize me. And then not let go if I'm to recommend it to anyone else. Basically, you better have your fast ball ready at 100+ miles per hour.

I think agents and editors get that--to quote Fergie--BOOM, BOOM, POW . . . you have got to have a hook that not only gets NY paying attention, but then . . . trickle down . . . they can MARKET. They can design a cover for. They can write edgy back cover copy for. That people GET it. Get it . . . standing in a book store and making a decision in under 30 seconds.

So you have . . . and I'm making it tough today . . . 45 words or less. Your concept.

Your pitch . . . and yes, here's the wind-up.

Don't make me go back to the bullpen.

Batter up?

The Fake Oprah

So yesterday, my filmmaker 11-year-old daughter created a set, a theme song, and a photo montage for her television show. And I was filmed (!) as her first guest. Her theme song was great! The montage . . . wonderful. She held up a copy of Magickeepers. We had audience applause, and I walked "on set" and sat down. We air kissed.

Then it got hard.

"What was your inspiration for this book?"

"Who is your favorite character and why?"

SURE, I can answer these things. Sure. But on film? (Even if the entire show was filmed in my bedroom). We had to do retakes. I am STILL very unhappy with the interview but her highness, the Director AND Star AND theme song singer AND film editor . . . said no. No more retakes.

I learned a few things being on the "Fake Oprah" show.

1) I roll my eyes. Almost constantly. When I am searching for a word phrase, I constantly roll them. This would not be good on the REAL Oprah and it certainly wasn't good for Fake Oprah.
2) I talk with my hands. Apparently, I cannot utter a word without moving my hands. Oldest Daughter has the same affliction, but I never realized how bad it was until I was on film.
3) I can answer those questions in thoughtful paragraphs here. But . . . I suck at the 30 words or less on film.

Now, I have spoken in front of 100 people about writing. My schtick gets more comfortable as I go along, but some of my mannerisms, I am sure, are there. Put me in front of 100 kids and frankly, I'm like a comic. But I bet I roll my eyes.

So here's what else I know.

Your elevator pitch has to be spot on. SPOT on. If ever there was a time to perfect books and perfect queries and perfect your pitch . . . it's now.

If you need to, film yourself.

If that makes you queasy, Houston, we have a problem.

Speak to the mirror if you need to.

Get comfortable.

And pray that YOU don't ever run into the Fake Oprah. She is a tough interviewer.

I'm going to be having nightmares of my poor performance for weeks.

Thoughts?

Now I'm going to make it tough.

TWENTY-FIVE word summary of your book. Post it. Be sure of it. Own it.