True Self
So I went to yoga class for the first time in . . . well, since the birth of the Demon.
Great teacher. Really neat guy. Good room to practice in with huge floor-to-ceiling windows and beautiful, gleaming wooden floors. I chose the spot by the window so when I was in Triangle pose and breathing, I could stare at the stars.
I am NOT one of those people who is getting older and discovering creaky knees. I've always been flexible, thanks to years of dance and years of yoga. I don't grunt and groan getting down on the floor to pick up Demon's toys and then creak and groan getting up again. But I was surprised (and then, thinking about it, not) at how my poses were really . . . tight. I've been so stressed and I had lost a LOT of limberness, which is just what going back to daily practice is about--achieving the poses and breathing and working at my own pace. I'll get there again.
And at the end of class, the teacher talked about how this "relaxed" state was our True Self, and how we should stay connected to this person, now relaxed, in a state of meditation, without the stresses of the outside world pressing down on us. We've let them go. THIS is who we REALLY are. Which of course, sounds . . . a lot like Buddhism, and which is why many, many Buddhists practice yoga, in addition to meditation.
And of course, as soon as I left the class, there was Demon Baby, wet from swimming in the pool with his siblings (big health club), hair sticking up, grinning, and he leaped onto my leg (try walking that way). And he chattered. "Can I have go swimming again?" "No." "Please. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE." My real world came calling. He climbed like a monkey up my body until I was holding him on one hip. He kissed my face. Then pulled my hair. So much for spinal alignment.
But on the way home, I looked up at the stars that . . . a mere 15 minutes before were keeping me in my "True Self." And I thought about the "practice" of writing. It is almost a religious experience sometimes. It's going deep to some well of True Self, some place that is separate from Demons and dishes and laundry (my laundry pile is overtaking the upstairs hallway). It doesn't surprise me that I seek the poses and the breath in the same way I seek to find that writing zone.
So I wondered . . . does anyone see the practice of their writing in a spiritual sense?
30 comments:
YES! Well, I don't use the word spiritual. Or I haven't. No particular reason.
But when I go writing, I am in that calm, peaceful, this-is-what-I'm-supposed-to-do sort of focus. I'm centered. I'm not like that in any other part of my life, at least not at the moment.
Hi Spy:
I am trying to get to the point where that feeling is integrated in all that I do--from my volunteer work, to my prayer life, to my writing, to my yoga, and so on. Right now . . . Demon Days sort of prevent that--I'm just NOT serene enough yet to accept the chaos with total calm and peace. There are days when . . . well, it just gets to me. But that's what I'm aimin' for.
Yes! Most definitely yes.
Hey Alyson:
:-)
E
I think my writing is best when it's more spiritual/less cerebral, but I can't seem to get there as often as I'd like to.
This is more relevant to writing nonfiction than fiction for me. No matter what I'm going through in life I use writing as a way to relax and see things more clearly. I always find myself journaling more through times of great joy or great pain than when things are just okay.
Certainly sitting down to write when I get back from work is my favorite part of the day - rum and coke in hand. I do find the rum helps induce a spiritual state. LOL. Some of my most fluid, easy writing has happened after a dinner party oiled by wine - the problem is reading it the next day. But yes, when I am in front of my computer, ms open, I am at my most calm.
Heck yeah! I've always considered writing as my mental playground. I go off in my own world and have the fun I normally couldn't have. Even before I was published, I found writing a nice way to chill out after a long hard day at work. No matter how bad my day was, writing was like music to my savage beast.
Hi Jude:
Interesting. When I get more emotional, I too, am pretty sure I'm in the sweet spot.
E
Hi Tess:
I used to journal through all of my life--over a deacade or more of journals. And then I reached a point where the BACK story of my problems was so huge sometimes, that I didn't have the energy to write about it. LOL! And then . . . I felt like I was processing things differently the more I got into philosophy and Buddhism and so on. I was less "in" it and more on some other plane. So I stopped journaling. But now I find fiction still comes from that place.
I love those moments, those spaces of peace and calm. I get them in writing when the headphones are on and the words are flying (well, flying is a relative thing at ~27 wpm).
As I see it, that state is really always there, ready and waiting for us to find it. What we lack is the "muscle" to find it and remain in it. The more we practice finding and accessing that space the easier it is to get there and to stay there.
The key for me is really being unattached to my circumstances - not being in a place of right and wrong, should and should not, has to and can't.
Now if I can just find a way to work that into my WIP... :)
Suzanne:
I definitely exhale after a long day when I get to open my wip.
E
marcia:
My savage beast has needed a lot of soothing lately.
E
No. Lately it's seemed like a huge chore because of the class I'm taking. I need to look at this differently. Your post is a good reminder.
Hi Anti-wife:
Believe me, there are many a day that I look at it as a big pain in the ass--particularly when trying to do it with Demon Baby underfoot. But the yoga class kind of brought me back to the other side of it.
E
Writing, being, and meditating is all connected in my life, so yes, I think of the creative experience as spiritual. :-)
Hi Heather:
It's a fluidity in all those areas, I think.
E
Yes. Very much so. It's a form of meditation and an act of faith.
Charlene:
I hadn't even really thought of the "act of faith" part but yes, very much so.
E
Certainly I think there must be a spiritual element. Otherwise it's all mechanical. So your sentences are perfect structurally, but do they move the reader. That is the real test and I don't think you can achieve it without that spiritual connection.
JLK:
Agreed. But there are AWFUL writers, semi-objectively speaking (sine all writing is subjective and in the eye of the reader/beholder), for whom the PROCESS is quasi-spiritual, even if the writing is never shared.
E
Absolutely, Erica! I've said it before too, but when I'm in the writing zone, I'm all of me. I'm connected on all levels and it's what I strive for whenever I sit to write. I love it, and it's spiritual. I'm full.
I'm still laughing from your 'spinal realignment' remark.
:-)
ladonna:
You say full . . .
Buddhists strive for "empty."
Either way . . . in the zone. :-)
E
christine:
With him, I can usually kiss any kind of peaceful moments AND spinal alignment good-bye.
Yesterday, he was in rare form. But then at bedtime, he held my hand and said "Good night, Mama. I love you." And I forget the chaos.
E
Yes definitely. There are three things I see that way: Bellydance, Yoga, and writing. And when I'm not doing any one of those things, I feel very out of balance.
Zoe:
When I posted the picture, I thought of you and your practice.
E
awwww heh. And I "just" got to where I can do that pose with no wobbles, yay!
Zoe:
Good for you. I used to be there. Now, forget it! But I'm glad to be BACK.
E
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