Nurturing Your Dreams
There is a scene in The Roofer when 9-year-old Ava's treasure box--a cigar box filled with drink parasols, bird feathers, and shiny pebbles--is destroyed by her vengeful uncle. It was actually based on an incident in which a place I hid some momentos was found and also destroyed by someone. It felt like the ultimate invasion, and since then, I can honestly say, my little treasures--Buddha statues and coins from foreign countries, and candles and so on . . . seem to mean a lot to me. They aren't worth anything, but they represent dreams to me . . . and so they clutter my life up. And that's just fine with me.
But really, the scene I wrote is about much more--destroying someone's dreams. Crushing them. Defeating a child. I've been thinking about that because lately, I have definitely been combatting fatigue. Economy fatigue, bill-paying fatigue, housework fatigue . . . all of the above and then some. And when that happens, it can be really easy to forget to nurture your dreams. In fact, I've been just sort of ignoring mine lately. I've been too tired, too busy, too much a mommy 24/7. I don't like to whine "but what about meeeeeeeeeeeeee"--because really? The world doesn't care much for whiners. But really? Not so much what about me . . . but what about my dreams?
So today I've decided to combat my dream fatigue a bit. Starting with getting my house straightened up so I can feel peaceful, and then with maybe knitting and relaxing by the fire tonight. And then with some writing. Some PLAYING with something new, not on deadline, just for now this work in progress playground. I'll light candles. Pray. BREATHE (that's a big one). And get back on my vegan track (I've not been eating meat, but I have been so stressed and tired, I have been eating crap.) Nurturing me means nurturing, by extension, dreams. I think I'll also take some time to daydream. Listen to Beethoven's 9th. That should do it. Just what the doctor ordered.
How about you? What are you doing to take care of your dream today?
24 comments:
I've been carving out time to work on a novel. Just finished today's work on it.
This is so funny. I just composed a poem in my head, on the way to taking DH to another dentist appt. for another week of pain, basically totally about what about me? Which, in my case, is totally selfish, because I'm feeling lonely when he's writhing in pain in front of the TV for weeks, LOL. Bad Spy! :-)
Speaking of kids, I spend a lot of time trying to get my students to dream some, to choose heroes. They don't have heroes, these days. Isn't that weird? Many don't even have dreams. They just want to get through their day so they can have their 10 minutes of relaxation. Sad. I think we're crushing their dreams with too much wasted time in school, too much homework, too much soccer. (Not too much music, of course, LOL.)
Writing is funny, though. If you can't make your dreams come true in real life, you can always make them come true for your characters.
How about you? What are you doing to take care of your dream today?
Well, I started by reading your blog.
Good for you, Erica, I hope you enjoy the day.
Erica, it's so interesting to read your blog today. We must be in cosmic harmony or something. I was thinking about you and Spy on the way to work today. I was feeling sort of overwhelmed by NaNaPooPoo, and feeling sorry for myself. (Believe me, I know that is really silly.)
Then I was thinking about how much Spy does, and manages to be so prolific and handle everything (her last blog made me think of this). Then thoughts turned to you, and writing so well and writing with the pressure of being the major bredwinner, taking care of your family, (Demon Baby, no less), and dealing with Crohn's and I told myself to shut the f- up and stop complaining.
But...then I told myself to complain away. Women do soooooo much, with families and everything else thrown in, and then we expect ourselves to be perfect and uncomplaining, too!
(Sorry about the rambling.) I'm so glad you're taking "you" time.
I've been prioritizing my goals and rethinking my writing approach as I've been stressing over the rut I seem to be on on that front. I have found no answers as of yet, but hopefully I will find my legs soon.
I've also been trying to re-prioritize my time. My daily demands are so few compared to you and most of my friends that I don't allow myself to complain. The problem with that is then life hits me like a ton of bricks and I don't get anything done. I'm getting better about wasting less time online, but it's an effort when I don't have anyone to talk to. *sigh*
You really deserve this mental break and I hope you are able to relax today. :)
Mark:
Awesome. I am about to go play with mine.
E
spy:
I always want my kids to dream big dreams.
E
Hi Merry:
Thanks for dropping by this a.m.!
E
robin:
I agree wholeheartedly. We do so much, take care of everyone, and then . . . when we're tired, berate ourselves for complaining. I really am TIRED, damn it! LOL!
E
travis:
I hope you break out of the rut. Maybe try writing something completely different . . . just to break up the routine. That is one of the pluses, I have to say, of writing in more than one genre.
E
melanie:
Well . . . I just got back from visiting with a sick friend . . . but now I can start, I hope, playing.
E
I've decided to write the book I want to write, the one I've been afraid to write. Having made the decision, I can't wipe the shit-eating grin off my face.
The one you are afraid to write is always the one you MUST write.
I'm enjoying cookies with Earl Grey and some new-found peace, a result of a long overdue revelation.
Hope your day ends with a more relaxed stretch ahead. P.S. Reading your blog does such wonders for my psyche - always keep this up.
I'd been a real scrooge and not put out any fall decor -- and yesterday I did it. And I cleaned. And I lit candles. And I'm so refreshed at my desk in a clean room with a cinnamon bark soy candle burning.
I don't get the rejuvenation time I need so I take what I can get.
I did realize that both kids will be gone for the same weekend in November 2009 (yes, in a year)...so no whining for me! I have a relaxing, rejuvenating weekend to myself to look forward to in about 380 days!
I've also been writing every day en route to the end of my WIP and that seems to drive me tremendously.
kath:
Count on me and the tea and cookies. ;-)
E
Amy:
I must admit--a LITTLE jealous of a kid-free weekend. I can't recall my last one. I've had two nights kid-free in the last 13 years--and not two nights in a row!
E
I think you and I are in the same place. I am entirely worn out.
I'm finishing a short story, clearing up clutter in the house, and walking my dog.
sex scene:
Worn out and then some. I can't seem to shake it lately--because there's never really a chance to catch up on my rest, never a night when I don't have a wild Demon Baby to fend off . . . never a break from the workload. So it's really a mental battle then to push through the exhaustion.
E
Erica, a lot can happen between now and NEXT November...I'll let you know if you should be jealous when I'm actually on my own for a few days.
:)
I will make love to thirty women in thirty days.
Erica, I feel for you. I have felt like that in the past but don't these days because I no longer have a small child. I guess Demon Baby is still too young to sleep over with another family member to give you a break every now and then? Sometimes we need a little time away from our darlings so we can unscramble our brains.
Keeping my dreams alive? That's hard. Even if I sell the ms I sent to H/S Intrigue today, it would still be several years before I could give up the day job - and that's the best case scenario. So it's hard to continue to spend the major part of my waking hours doing what I don't want to be doing and only a few hours doing what I enjoy. But there's no fast route to reach my dream so I keep plodding on.
suzanne:
I have no family here, so that makes it hard. I moved here to be near my sister--then she moved to Texas when her husband got transferred. :-(
As for dreams . . . I remind myself it's all in the journey--because even if you achieve one, then you set a new one (at least if you are a dreamer by nature).
E
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