The Wimple
I admit it. Sometimes I get absolutely fascinated by oddity.
Case in point, I sometimes watch the Home Shopping Network for HOURS and have never actually BOUGHT anything on it. However, I find the extreme enthusiasm those hosts muster absolutely fascinating.
And I sometimes watch the nun at left say the rosary. It's not that I think the rosary--televised--is so fascinating. Though really, watching paint dry would be more interesting. It's that of ALL the nuns to choose, they choose this one, who has the most MONOTONE voice you have ever heard. They stick her in a chapel with other wimple-wearing nuns and they recite it and the whole thing is on TV! Fascinating!
But really, this post is about the wimple. In The Handmaid's Tale, Offred must wear a wimple that forces her to keep her eyes focused straight ahead, neither look left nor right. The religious symbolism is clear, and I often think, subjugation of Offred aside, we should all wear them when it comes to other writers.
You see, at some point, if you stick with this long enough, you start to realize you're good. "Better than" author x who has been published, certainly "as good" as THAT guy. And then your friends start getting pubbed. Or get the really BIG deals. The ones that let them quit their day job. All that comparing is unhealthy. Either you can develop resentment, or envy. You can get bitter or you can be inspired.
The first time I met an author who was downright "mean"--and by that I mean just a backstabbing person--but who was very successful while spreading her unkindness through her RWA chapter and the world at large, I had a sense of "Where's the justice in all this?" Of course, the world isn't fair. And really, for every not-so-nice person, there are hundreds of stories of terrific writers who help other writers. But the first time I had a twinge--the tiniest of twinges--of envy, that was the day I donned my wimple. I've got my path. You've got yours. That author over there has his. Use the good stuff for inspiration--those great "call" stories. Share in the joy of someone else's success. Beyond that . . .
Focus on the path. Anything else is a distraction.
And when all else fails, say ten Hail Marys and an Our Father.
Thoughts? And has anyone else ever see that nun there on TV?
35 comments:
Life is unfair. I was nearly kidnapped by two strange men in a gold Impala. Luck smiled on me and I escaped that fate. Mother was supposed to die several times, she's been declared dead once, before she was revived. I was born in America unlike the little girl I saw my own age, who was born in Nicaragua and led her blind grandmother around begging for centavos.
When I pray I ask God to help me write a novel worth publishing, and lest You think I am ungrateful, thank you for the good life I have.
Is that Mother Angelica? (I always have to know how to find EWTN on my cable line up when my mom comes to town. That and Bold and the Beautiful.)
I guess I need to read The Handmaid's Tale, huh?
richmond:
Most definitely. There are days when I think . . . why do I have to have Crohn's disease. And days when I think, well, my God, I have four healthy kids so shut up your bitchin', lady. :-)
E
heather:
Yup. Mom Angelica herself. FASCINATING isn't she??? I just . . . she looks like she's about to fall asleep as she says that rosary sometimes!
E
You're smart to wear the wimple when it's of your own design. Keeping a self-imposed focus gets us away from detractors - in a good way.
I have stopped wondering why others have gone farther than me in the magazine freelancing world (haven't tried the book thing yet, am on my way) but I've stopped trying. When I obsess, I lose sight of the goal which is my own career.
I really don't wonder about the published novels out there. I read so many and completely understand why they are on the shelves. I'm grateful to read them. The others? I chalk it up to persistence and luck and that whole subjective card.
It comes down to this - I'm too tired mostly to worry about anyone but myself and the many beings under my roof!
Can I metaphorically wear something a little more manly? Like maybe the blinders they use for racehorses sometimes?
amy:
Exactly. Clear-minded focus on your own path is the key to happiness, I think. Or one of the many keys anyway.
E
Jude:
Blinders. Fine. But really, if you were COMFORTABLE in your manhood, you'd don the wimple. :-)
E
All right, damn it. Pink blinders then.
Ah yes, to your own path be true, find your own way, etc.
In publishing, I really think this is MORE true (if I can say that without my internal editor asking what's more true than true?) for writers. After all, generally speaking, if you want to be a lawyer or a surgeon or even an accountant, there's pretty much one way to get there. law school, medical school, college, etc.
Getting published, I guess there's only one way, too--write and submit (and you can certainly interpret that a couple different ways). But there's certainly no school that you can graduate from that will guarantee a fiction writing career.
Which brings me to two other thoughts on this Friday:
1. As Stephen King writes in 'Salem's Lot: "Hail Mary, full of grace, help me win this stockcar race. Hallelujah, crunchy peanut butter."
2. Uh... I forget. I got distracted.
LMAO, yes, it fascinates me also that they televise this! hahahahaha. They may use the monotone lady because that seems to be more conducive to a meditative state. I don't know.
Anyway, good words on the wimple thing. Definitely I agree with you. I spent a lot of time looking at what everybody else is doing, but right now I'm too busy to do that. I've made my choices for better or worse and I'm on my path. I want to see where it leads.
I know a lot of people wrestle with envy in this business -- sometimes privately and sometimes not-so-privately. But I've always thought of it in two ways.
First, if people weren't writing and publishing great books, what would I read? I'm grateful to good authors, both for inspiring me that it can be done and simply entertaining me. Nothing makes me happier than discovering a really good book. Honestly, Erica, I felt a little bit that way when I read The Roofer recently. I was just ... impressed.
Second, what does anyone else's success have to do with me? I could never write the books that other people write, just as they could never write the books I write. Art is like a fingerprint, unique to the owner. The only question that matters to me is will my fingerprint be the right one?
JVZ
Seen that nun on TV? Not the one you pictured, but I spent my young, impressionable years under the thumbs of her sisterhood. One of them could have been Stephen King's grandmother, if not for that chastity vow obstacle...
Anyway, speaking of obstacles and all those other distractions writers fall under, I've been blind-sided both literally and metaphorically. Seeing success come to those I feel undeserved, as in, "Their contracts aren't dropped while the really good writers are?" has, at times, made me want to stop writing all together.
And then I realize that my writing isn't like theirs and with that, I'll achieve a different success, but if I stop writing, I won't obtain any. Some days I can't focus literally, but I can control the metaphoric, hard as that is.
Great blog, Erica. You remind me to always stay focused on MY prize.
Mark:
I forgot that PARTICULAR version of the Hail Mary. :-)
E
zoe:
I like the wimple analogy, too, because you must look FORWARD. Not back. Regretting choices ia a huge waste of energy. As you said, you're on your own path; see where it leads.
E
JVZ;
Well . . . thanks. As you know, that book was dear and near to my heart.
E
kath:
A good friend of mine in the writing biz went through this incredible dry spell after having had hueg success for many years. I am talking YEARS without a contract, before getting a two-book with a biggie. A lesser person would have thrown in the towel. The ups and downs of this business are such that if you DON'T focus on your own prize, it will make you nuts.
E
I celebrate my friends' successes. There's room for all of us. Even the monotone writers. (I see them on the bestseller lists! lol)
I have my path and they have theirs. For whatever reason, mine is longer and more winding, but it's nothing to to with anyone else's success.
I don't want to walk around with bitterness and envy. When I'm angry about something, it kills my creativity. But if I'm happy, I'm in a creative place.
I have that green spark living inside me. I combat it by always giving back. I do critiques--at least one Critter story per week (more if I'm really battling jealousy or depression), I crit for friends, acquaintances, nearly anyone who asks. I've been thinking of starting a regular "first page" critique post on our magazine's blog (inspired by Nathan's query critique). I find that nothing kills the green-eyed-monster like giving back.
edie:
I can't write when either angry or really, really sad.
E
sex scenes:
I personally think that a first-page crit site would be really popular. Don't we all want our first page to sparkle?
I feel like this blog is my give and take. It keeps me grounded in happiness for the successes of others.
E
I'm all about the metaphorical wimple. There's always someone cuter, smarter, thinner, richer, more successful, more talented . . .but I just try to keep busy, really busy, and focus on the path I need to tread.
Okay, I'm totally gonna look for that TV nun now-- love stuff like that! And I'm with you, between the shiny manicures, the hairspray, and the unmitigated enthusiasm those home shopping hosts show--it's mesmerizing! Though I've never been compelled to actually purchase!
I'm blessed to be a part of SCBWI. It's an organization that, at its heart, believes in supporting each other. Yes, there are the jealous, envious people involved as well. And the personalities are legion. Another group I belong to talks about sticking with the winners. And that is the key for me. Sticking with the ones who are working their craft and supportive.
I had a nice chat with someone my wife works with and found out he's a writer. Been published once, too. We talked about hopes, dreams, stories, self-doubt, etc. And we made a pact to get published (him for the 2nd time) by the time we see each other again. Since he lives in Chicago, that's a doable goal. He's got 4 kids and his job and trying to find time to write. I know you can relate.
So far I've only felt genuine happiness when I hear of others' success. Granted, I haven't started querying yet so that could change, but I look at it this way: if new writers keep getting agents/publishers/book deals, that means the industry hasn't folded and I still have a chance. It's when we stop hearing of success that I'll start to worry.
Do you know where I can get my hands on a wimple?
Alyson:
They absolutely fascinate me. How someone can muster up THAT much enthusiasm for a purse--for an UGLY purse! Or for bedsheets! It's an art form.
E
sarah:
I do think like-minded souls find each other. I sincerely believe that.
E
melanie:
Here you go:
http://www.costumecraze.com/Couples-Costumes-Nun-Priest.html
:-)
E
As always, a great post.
I don't think I was born with the envy gene. For every success there is an excellent writer, and I know several, who have struggled for years to get published and yet it doesn't happen or it almost happens and the line or publisher folds or the agent goes AWOL. The element of luck is huge, given all other things are equal. So we work hard, never give up, and wait for luck to swing our way.
Here in New Zealand, our Romance Writers group is extemely supportive of each other and we celebrate every success as a success for the association and for the country. We are very proud of every writer who gets published or on the best seller lists, like our own Nalini Singh etc.etc.
New Zealand is so small that we writers really do know or know of each other and no one could afford to do anything disreputable or they would be boycotted, so it doesn't happen.
suzanne:
Add to that overcoming the idea that it's so far away and harder to promote, perhaps . . . and I would imagine you NZ writers stick together!
E
Terrific comments. Keep your eyes on your own path or you end up trying to achieve your success at the expense of others.
On another subject, Mother Angelica has been dead for some time, hasn't she? Those are old tapes aren't they? I think she's a hoot and a howl.
Joe:
I think she is just sick.
http://www.ewtn.com/mother_update.asp
And yes, a hoot. I love bizarre-o tv.
Yes, yes, yes!!! Ohmigosh, yes!! All the time! I never knew why, but I get stuck watching it sometimes.
She's like watching a puzzle, but there's something about some of the other nuns, who seem more enthusiastic and at peace. Then there's something of wondering what their life would be like. There was a little while I wanted to be a nun.
I take inspiration from other writers, all of them. My new policy is to stay far away from writing orgs, though. The politics of inequality just make me see red.
I'm not envious of other writers, but I am amazed sometimes at the deals some people get. Nicholas Sparks, for example, who we talked about before. Why did his little 45K word love story bring a seven-figure advance? It boggles the mind, really. What was so special about it? How can one duplicate that? What percentage of success in publishing boils down to plain old luck?
Okay. I better put my stinking pink blinders back on. Or my...gulp...wimple.
Hey Erica, I'm back online! Whoot! Anyway, great blog and I loved the pic. Haven't seen that nun yet, but man she looks like her britches are too tight.
I guess I wear a wimple too, cause I don't usually look to see what's on someone else's plate. Thank God. It'd probably drive me bonkers. I love that we all have a path, it's not crowded and it's ours.
I watch reality TV on the little mini TV's attached to the treadmill when I'm at the gym. It's amazing. There are shows like "Sweet Sixteen" or "The Pickup Artist" on MTV that can make me howl with laughter. I can't imagine fake stuff that is this funny. I never watch it at home, though, and I'm not sure why. It's definitely "TV to run by"!
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