A Simple Question
Writing.
Choice or calling?
Discuss.
**********
All right . . . I pondered this from yesterday's post and some general crabbiness yesterday over some editing stuff. There are days, simply, when writing is my job. It may be a job like yesterday, when I wear my slippers all day (and for the record, I went out for lunch in my slippers . . . because I can--I'm rebellious that way). It may be a job I commute precisely 8 seconds for. But it's a job. I field phone calls, I work, and have a "boss" (myself . . . though I also, ultimately, have editors and I am responsible to them too--therein lying my crabby moment yesterday). Some days . . . it feels like a job.
MOST days, it is a job I adore. When checks are late, when I am struggling with this or that . . . it's a job I do because, frankly, I don't think I am capable of working in an office anymore. It's been fourteen years. I am too set in my routine. I don't want to give up the slippers. So even on days when I think my job kind of sucks a teensy-weensy bit, I am grateful. Mostly.
But there is most definitely a quality about the job that people wax poetic about (we're writers after all). It is fate, what we are meant to do. People say they would collapse and die if they couldn't write. You know the drill. So . . . choice or calling?
For purposes of this debate . . . I was FULLY prepared to say "choice." [And just so we don't get hung up on that . . . we all CHOOSE . . . we have free will.] Until I looked up the definition of calling at Webster's.
1 : a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence
2 : the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages
Okay, so I have number 2 down. And number 1? While I don't hear angel's choirs or anything . . . it is an impulse. A strong inner impulse. It's how I see the world. I see it as a writer.
Now I'll take this one step further . . . .
What about people who dabble? Can they ever do it like those for whom it might (or might not) be a calling? Is there something about the "divinity" of it that demands your soul?
Okay . . . discuss.
31 comments:
For the past few years I've chosen to answer the call.
So I guess it's a combo.
I would have said calling. Now that I make a living as it full-time, I'm not quite as certain. It's 5 years fulltime tomorrow. Do I love it? Yes. Would I want to do something else? Welllll, no, probably not, but what are my options? Because I'm guessing in the world of fantasy jobs I could probably come up with a few that I might enjoy just as much as maybe more. Or not, because, well, I bet if you're a surf instructor on some tropical island, you get bored with the tourists or annoyed with them; and maybe you get tired of working in paradise while everyone else is partying. Maybe if you're a scriptwriter you get totally fed up with people second-guessing everything word you write and the director, the actors, etc., changing the words you write.
So is writing a job for me? You bet. Do I love it? Yes. If I won the lottery for $200 million, would I continue to write? Probably. But maybe only things I wanted to write. Or then again, maybe not. Maybe I'd be too busy living on a tropical island taking surfing lessons to bother.
Well, you might not know this, since you see the writer side of me, but I used to be a very practical person. When I was sick, I rejected Catholicism almost exclusively because I hated the Beatitudes, and because I had a "Christian" friend who felt more holy, the more suffering she had in her life. (It was totally in an unhealthy way.) I was NOT going to just sit in bed and be sick and THANK GOD for it, LOL. I basically chose Wicca because it made me feel more in control of my destiny and my body and my life.
I am a still mostly a skeptic. I believe more in the power of belief than what or who you actually believe in.
So for me to say that Universe has decided I must be a writer, for me to give up my piano and leave it locked in a little room far away, for me to give up teaching and leave my students... it's not exactly in character.
However, calling or not, I'm fairly certain the Universe could care less whether I enjoy writing or not. I do (most all of the time), but I don't think it cares, LOL. I could choose and teach myself to hate it, if I want, and it would still be my calling.
Hi Amy:
I like that . . . answering the call.
E
Mark:
I see it both ways, too.
If I won the lottery, I know, without a doubt, I would not write. I would maybe blog about motherhood . . . but that's it. I would go to school f/t, I would have an organic farm, I would work with the homeless or some charities that I give time to . . . but on a heavier basis. So maybe that makes it less of a call. I don't know.
Natasha:
See . . . I'm always thinking the universe is sending me signs. :-)
E
I think I'm a dabbler at heart--and I'm finally okay with that.
I love writing and the processes, but being unpubbed gives me a choice of not writing if I don't want to, or putting my family first without worrying about a contractual obligation.
I can change genres on a whim without suffering any consequences of an agent/editor rejecting the concept outright, and seeing the book of my heart shoved into the closet.
My livelihood isn't dependent on the feckle nature of publishing or the public. Right now, it isn't a job--it's fun. I would hate to lose the the 'fun' when it turns into a 'job'.
magolla:
Most days it's fun for me. But yeah . . . definitely has its moments.
E
I believe that the urge to write will always be there--that it is something that I will always incorporate in my life. So, I think that is the calling side of this. I'm hoping that making it a profession is something that is feasible. That's the choice. And it depends on lots of other people and their choices as well. But in the end, I too, want to join the slipper club.
Heather:
I'm in sneakers today. But the Slipper Club is, indeed, a good gig.
Choice or calling. A tough distinction for me. When I first starting writing YA it felt like a calling. After I finished a draft of my first manuscript and was faced with revision then it felt more like a choice, that was six years ago.
Now, three manuscripts later and countless hours of rewriting it feels like both. I am called to write, drawn to the stories I create but consciously choose to keep working on. I didn't leave my teaching job to write full-time because I was burned out with teaching. I left because I wanted to give my writing everything I could. I'm not sure where I'll end up but that's part of the journey.
Choice or calling. A tough distinction for me. When I first starting writing YA it felt like a calling. After I finished a draft of my first manuscript and was faced with revision then it felt more like a choice, that was six years ago.
Now, three manuscripts later and countless hours of rewriting it feels like both. I am called to write, drawn to the stories I create but consciously choose to keep working on. I didn't leave my teaching job to write full-time because I was burned out with teaching. I left because I wanted to give my writing everything I could. I'm not sure where I'll end up but that's part of the journey.
The thing is, I have a LOT floating around in my head. Not just a little, but large volumes of thoughts and stories and characters. I think so hard that even if I've done nothing at all, at the end of the day I'm to tired to hold my head up.
I used to draw a lot, but somewhere between the razor blades and Fleetwood Mac tapes my way of thinking became very...complex. Writing is the only medium big enough for all of my thoughts.
So, if I didn't write, my head would explode from the pressure. I hope to make a living with my writing one day, but there's a certain amount of skill that is needed to make something readable. I'm getting there, but I'm not in a hurry anymore. I'll get there, but there a lot of different forms of writing I want to try out first.
Paul:
I think your response is really very similar to my own feelings. I am called by Shiny New Ideas . . . usually have a ton of enthusiasm. But the real hard work of writing is a choice to do it . . . polish, revise, be open to criticism, and so on.
JT:
No head explosions, please! :-)
And I hear you . . . I really do. When I journaled, that's how it felt for me.
E
I think it's important to remember that just because you find in a dictionary that there are two or ten definitions of a word, they are not necessarily connected.
I've known many, many people who work at a certain job because it puts food on their table and provides for their family. It may or may not be a job in their area of passion. I think they are "called" to provide for their family, and God/the universe doesn't particularly care how they go about it.
On the other hand, every person sees the world through unique eyes and perspective and each person responds to and expresses what they see in different and unique ways. I have always seen and responded to the world through words, my mother through painting, my dad through music, my husband through math and physics, my daughter through a camera lens, my oldest son through film, my youngest son through philosophy. I think this too is a "calling."
I think every word I write (even if it is done as a dabble or with an eye toward publication) impacts, changes, beautifies, and adds to the creation of the universe. Am I "called" to see, respond to, and write? You bet.
I am also aware of how fragile the line is between doing something for passion/sense of calling and the idea that I'm entitled to extract money, significance, and/or notoriety from that venture. I think this is where it's easy to get tripped up, lose our perspective, and stop creating out of our soul. When we do that we become less as does our influence.
Calling. Because no real writer (or painter, or composer, etc.) gets up one morning and says, "I think I'll be a writer." They're already writing.
Anytime you find yourself asking whether you should write, I think the answer is automatically no. That's harsh, but I know too many people who are suffering because they chose to be in this business, and don't belong.
We all know when we write that no story is worth reading unless there is conflict. This is because life works that way, we do not live without conflict, and I would imagine that every job whether loved or hated brings out conflicting emotions. I would say it is a calling when the part of the job you hate is incapable of preventing you from working through it until you get to the part you love.
You wade through the editing for the satisfaction of a story well written.
Beth:
Absolutely. Anyone who is a regular knows my true calling is motherhood and writing is an AVENUE (and in some ways, nothing more and nothing less) to allow me to support a large family (by today's standards--four kids) while being at home. In some ways, my "calling" is interrelated all over the place.
Stephen:
Very true. I am always sort of curious about people who hear me at a signing or a speaking thing and approach and say, "People tell me I should write a book . . . what do you think?" Because no one TELLS you to write. You just HAVE to, in some sense.
This is different though, from people like (is he lurking today??) John Kaufman . . . the guy is born to write whether he actually does so for publication ever or not. He's a writer.
But yeah, I agree with you . . . if you ponder it like, "Yeah . . . maybe I'll give it a whirl"--then perhaps you shouldn't.
E
Richmond:
Man, you have been full of gems here lately. Well said!
:-)
E
It's a choice. I chose not to write for nearly two decades. I wasn't happy, not really. I wasn't myself.
I'm one of the weird ones because I like the business end, too. Maybe it's from being an editor and getting to experience the excitement on the other side of the table. But I see what it takes (to a small degree) to put quality writing out into the world.
I actually like everything that goes with it. I like doing websites and teaching writers and helping out and connecting with fans and talking to other writers and submitting stories and books. I don't even hate all the rejections (and I've had a slew lately, groan) because they they become a physical record of my efforts.
I think I'm called to write. I think it's my own efforts that actually make me do it. I don't think a writer that's achieving any measure of success (from finishing a short story to NYT List) can honestly choose just one or the other.
Stephen talked about people who don't belong. Not sure what he means by that, but I think those are people who maybe have the call but not the internal drive. Maybe the call comes from the soul and the drive comes from the brain? Not sure. But in my experience, it takes both, in constantly changing amounts, to achieve, to actually write.
Starbucks:
I think he means people who think they can pick it up as a hobby, similar to learning to cross-stitch, be instantly successful . . . people who says, "I don't know . . . maybe I should write a book." If it isn't a drive, as you say, then it's likely that you're not meant to do it.
Ah I get it. In my experience, they don't last long. But maybe I'm wrong. I have a bad habit of not paying attention to writers I don't sense are pretty serious. It's a failing in my personality... :)
Hmmmm. I feel it is a 'calling'.
I've been 'writing' ever since I understood that letters could make sound & then to combine them you could make words, & then you could use those words to formulate sentences.
All throughout school, classes like English & Language Arts came effortlessly for me (once I grasped the concept, it usually takes extra effort on my part to do that, more than the average joe anyway) yet I struggled in Math.
The thing is here is that my mom had to TELL me I was a writer. I didn't get that what I was doing was something 'special', because it just came naturally for me. It was like it just flowed forth. I'd burn with this fever of needing to express & that fever wouldn't break til I sacrificed all my energy into creating exactly what was being conjured up in my soul.
My mom explained that what I experiencing was a 'calling'. Whether or not anybody else wants to buy into what I'm doing however, is quite another thing I s'pose. :D
I guess a question I've begun to formulate here is, what if you indeed DO have the calling, but nobody else sees it as that? What if nobody EVER sees it as that? I guess that's where 'divine intervention' comes in handy, giving you the motivation you need when you feel like no one else gives a shit about what you're doing.
Even then though, through the trudge, if it still doesn't get you the results you're hoping for, does it neccessarily mean that it WASN'T a calling just because everyone else didn't feel your vibe?
Eesh woman! You've got me all crazy in the head now thinking about this....hahahaha. I heart you!
I'm called to be a writer. I have no doubt of that. (Despite my typo yesterday. Snerk.) If I run the lottery I would probably convince myself that I don't want to do it anymore. But then my fingers would probably itch and then I'd have a character talking to me that I HAVE to write. In one way or another I've always craved to write.
Now, I choose to seek out publishing said writing. Small difference, but it's the one that puts the "calling" part in perspective for me.
realm:
I don't think whether or not people "get" your art changes if it's a calling. You can examine some of the world's greatest artists and writers . . . very often, no one "got them" until much later. And still others will always march to their own drummer and may even create things the world says isn't any good, but they may no less feel great joy in their creation.
I don't believe there's anything particularly mystical about the process. It's a choice. Otherwise we have to depend on that undependable entity we call the muse, and admit that there's such a thing as writer's block, and...
Rubbish.
Is Harper Lee any less "real" than, say, Stephen King, because she called it quits after one book? I don't think so.
Melissa:
I would presume if I won the lottery . . . I really would never write for publication again. I'd just blog and do stuff for my kids. I'm not sure why I feel that way, but I am pretty sure that uis an honest assessment.
E
Jude:
I don't know that I would summarize other people's belief in something quasi-spiritual about making art as "rubbish," but you can certainly feel that way.
My comment was mostly directed toward that Parrish kid, whom I know can dish it out and take it. ;)
If he's saying I'm not "real" and "don't belong" just because I don't feel some sort of mandate to write, then yeah that's rubbish. I'm pretty sure the world would keep turning if I quit right now. Everyone who's in the business is there because they choose to be. It's a job. It's voluntary.
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