Deep, Dark Weird Confessions

I am not a serial killer.

But I save very weird trophies of my children's lives. I saved a huge envelope of hair from yesterday's colossal haircut (see previous post). I save baby teeth. I even saved the teeth Baby Girl got extracted last year, roots and all (VERY gross). It's vaguely embarrassing. Occasionally, while going through a junk drawer in our kitchen, a person looking for, say, batteries, might find an envelope with a tooth. "Oh . . . gimme that," I'll say.

I save notes they wrote me when they first could write letters. "Dear MOM, I luv u, luv, your son, FIRST NAME . . . LAST NAME"--they always write their last names when they first learn to write, and add the "your son," or "your daughter" as if I take in hordes of urchins and won't remember who's who. Maybe it's because none of their last names match mine and instead match their fathers' and they want to be sure I know WHICH kid it is. But either way, the notes are saved.

I saved this strange ceramic animal I got for Mother's Day when Oldest was in first grade. It's a bird, but it looks like a turtle. It won't stand upright, so I have to lean it against my bookshelf, supported by a hardcover copy of The Chicago Manual of Style.

In the drawer where I keep my bras, I keep the first bracelet Oldest Daughter made me. It is a cardboard masking tape roll (masking tape removed) covered with glued-on bits of tissue paper in a raibow of colors. I don't know why it is saved in that particular drawer, but it's been there for years, and every once in a while when I see it, I smile.

In short . . . Moms do weird things. We save weird things. We are, in fact, weird. Or maybe it's just me.

But writers are the same. If you go through the 670+ posts of this blog, and all the comments, you will find MANY (not just a few) where someone writes, "I needed to read this today. I am printing this out and taping it to my computer/my mirror/my refrigerator." We writers comb the Internet for inspiration like that. Funny . . . but I really don't think CPAs are combing blogs and searching for Accounts Receivable quotes of inspiration to tape to their bathroom mirrors to get them through the day.

Other weird things? We eavesdrop. Me, who . . . just yesterday made sure they charged me MORE for Oldest's haircut because he's older than a "junior" at the haircutting place and I told them so instead of letting them think he was younger . . . who strives to be honest . . . Yes, I eavesdrop constantly, squirreling away dialogue and stories like nuts for a long winter.

In my purse, I have scraps of quotes, ideas, and scribbled half-thoughts. I cry over fake people. When I killed off a certain someone at the end of a book . . . I cried. He was FAKE. He's not REAL!!!! I still mourn him.

I laugh as I type sometimes. Oh, those characters give me good laughs--um, yes, I am writing it, but THEY are funny, not me.

I invent family trees for families that don't really exist.

So in the spirit of good fun . . .

Step right into the Confessional Booth. "Reverend Erica . . . it's been 5 years since my last confession . . . ."

I promise if I can't absolve you of your weirdness, at least I will commiserate.

What weird writer things do you do? And what weirdness do you save in your real life? (I have an entire can of "fat" from making spaghetti sauce and meatballs in my freezer . . . it's like a friggin' heirloom.) And be forewarned, the person who posts here as Hannibal . . . I already anticipate some weird thing you'll post that you save, so I beat you to it. :-)

Peace,
E