Evil Gusts
Very weird thing happened to me yesterday. I was tired and trying to get Demon Baby to take a rest, which is really one of the most futile ventures--I need a NASA team of rocket scientists to figure out how to do that one. But I was lying there, still, on the futon, trying to get HIM to be still, and suddenly there popped into my head a name I hadn't thought of in 25 years. With that name came a slew of others--editors I worked with when I first got out of college.
After the pseudo-rest-time was over, I went to my computer. A click or two of Google later, I discovered one of those editors is in federal prison.
Now, to be sure, I thought this guy was "going places"--I just didn't expect it to be prison. But I did remember a few things about him. He was very good-looking, he had absolutely not one ounce of sincerity or "real" personality to him, he liked to banter, he was smart, he dressed well, and he was trouble when he was drinking. More on this later.
Editor #2, whom I can't name here, was a sexual harasser of the first order long before you could approach human resources with a complaint. He was utterly and completely creepy. He was nicknamed The Slug by the women editors I knew. He was also very smart. And he is now so HUGE in publishing, my mouth dropped open. HUGE!!!!! However, I would be willing to bet that once a sexual harassing creep . . . well, you know where that's going.
Editor #3 was the nice guy. He smoked pot (I know because I went to a Tom Petty concert with him), and he was just a great person--quiet, not the lugubrious creep of #2, or the showboat of #1. He ALSO is successful, but in a quieter sphere of publishing. I am really happy for him. In his picture, he's lost some hair but still looks like a nice man.
Back to Editor #1, since it's a matter of public record, here's what he did (NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!). Now . . . I sat there yesterday, stunned. I was shocked. Believe me, I was shocked. BUT, on the other hand, I'd seen him drunk. Now, here's the other thing . . . if you hunt for other articles, you will find that he was taking all kind of anti-anxiety meds and was an alcoholic from "job stress," donated tons of money to CHILDREN'S charities . . . and had descended into some personal hell--so the judge went "easy" on him (he could have drawn a longer-than-72-month sentence). So part of me was shocked . . . and part of me thought . . . he was never "real"--his whole personality was a falsehood. Always. He could "smile for the cameras" so to speak. But like so many glad-handing salesmen types, it was all fake.
And PART of me was shocked for the very reason that we never expect to KNOW someone who does something like that. It's like a little gust of evil passed through my life 25 years ago. Of course . . . is my mind ticking with book ideas? Hell, yeah.
So here's the thing. I have said before my FAVORITE "serial killer" book was JUST KILLING TIME (I no longer read them because they scare me too much--but years ago, this was the best one). Look at the reviews! I cannot believe that he never wrote another book. Unless it was a pen name and he really has as someone else. But the thing I remember most from the book was a stat--that 1 in 10 of us has MET a serial killer. That's how MANY there are operating, but the feds keep people in the dark for as long as possible, not releasing to the public just how many cases seem to link until they are concentrated by time and area so much that local press figures it out. We've met them. One in ten. Doesn't mean you are lined up to be a victim. Means maybe they packed your groceries. Maybe they live next door. Maybe you've even worked next to them in a publishing house. Don't get me wrong, the editor I used to know didn't murder. But he might as well have. Because that crime steals souls.
It's weird knowing you've met evil. Like a gust. Passing through.
Thoughts?
30 comments:
I'm not aware that I've ever met any lowlife of that caliber, but maybe I have. We like to think we would recognize evil when we see it, but that's probably not true most of the time.
I was assaulted by an attorney when I worked at a gas station because I couldn't make change for a $100 bill on a Sunday morning.
(He threw a bulky credit card machine at me and missed.)
He said, "I'm so and so Mcahole and I'm an attorney!" Like that was going to make money magically appear in my register. (It was in the bible belt. Not a lot of store traffic when most people are at church.)
He waited and finally got his money. Years later, he shot his wife while his kid was in the house and then himself. She lived, he did not.
My family called me to tell me the news. Never would have known if he'd kept his mouth shut.
Jude:
The thing is . . . I remember that his soullessness fascinated me. I really did find him "interesting" for his hollowness. I remember saying to a friend . . . "I'd just like to run up behind him and mess his hair all up and see what he'd do if he wasn't perfect."
He asked me out for drinks one time . . . and I remember thinking . . . "Trouble." Just trouble. Empty. Never went.
E
Heather:
HOLY SH*T.
Wow.
Actually . . . I went to college with a guy and was friends with him--he slaughtered an entire family with a shotgun and then killed himself. But he was unstable and in therapy . . . and while I never expected THAT, I didn't think he was "well." But there you were . . . just in fury's way.
I once had a jerk of a guy PUSH me, NINE MONTHS PREGNANT out of the way to muscle his way to the hostess stand at a trendy Boca Raton restaurant when I lived there. He was 50ish, well-dressed, he shoved his finger in the face of the hostess and said, "Dr. Weiss! I have a reservation for 8:00!!" The hostess said, "All these people are waiting." "Well, I have a RESERVATION." "So do they." He would not be appeased, so I said (I was the one he pushed and was next in line) to her, "Go ahead. Seat him. He proves the adage money cannot buy class." The entire lobby applauded.
No, not evil. But there are bullies nearly everywhere you look.
E
And regarding serial killers, I won't park near vans. Ever. Too paranoid thanks to Silence of the Lambs and Copycat.
HEATHER!!!
Me either. Ever.
But I also don't frequent malls, pretty much ever. Lots of bad things go down at malls.
E
People are weird and I bet most everybody has secrets, although man, sounds like publishing has some real losers.
Erica:
That wasn't Brian Weiss, was it? I know he lives down that way...
I've heard people claim that they've actually felt the cold and forbidding presense of evil in another person. I think most of the time it comes in a warm and welcoming disguise, though. It's best not to trust anyone.
Especially a guy with a broken arm trying to load a chair in a van.
Mark:
There are secrets . . . and then there are SECRETS!
As for publishing . . . you know, the late 80s were a different time. Sexual harassment and discrimination were rampant, I think. Lots of 3- or 4-martini lunches. Editor #2 was more of an obvious creep. It appals me he is successful to the UNBELIEVABLE degree he is.
E
Jude:
I don't know . . . I just remember the name and that he pushed me, much to the shock of people standing there. There's a lot of MONEY in Boca and it breeds awful behavior. One reason I am THRILLED I no longer live there. If I had a dollar for every time I witnessed bad behavior of pushy people in restaurants, I could retire.
E
P.S. NO to helping anyone with vans, broken arms, etc.
How about sweet little old ladies with walkers who have dropped their groceries?
Jude:
If she's near a van . . . No.
:-)
E
Maybe they live next door. Maybe you've even worked next to them in a publishing house.
Maybe they're blogging!
Stephen:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
E
LOL about Stephen's blogging comment. I think we all know creeps who blow up for no reason. And sexual harrassment was bad at one time. I can remember a co-worker bragging about harrassing women. I don't think he'd get away with it now.
We just found out yesterday that a relative we thought we knew well -- one of the most amiable guys we know -- is a gambling addict. We had no clue.
Maybe they're blogging!
Of course. Why do you think they call it the WEB?
Hi Edie:
I agree. I think today's young women have very little idea how short ago it was that they could have been treated so horribly on the job with little recourse.
E
You've touched on a chilling topic, Erica. I don't park near vans either, and I'm creeped out by the fact normal looking people can be evil. Sometimes, I'll get a strange sensation standing next to someone. I always pay attention to that radar. But the scariest ones are the predators of children. We need to round those up, and put a computer chip on their ass for montoring. No free passes!
Hi Ladonna:
The thing is . . . if you go and find the guy's picture on the Internet, he is handsome. Successful. What makes someone have that wiring so screwed up? The guy has a 9-year-old daughter.
Sick, sick, sick.
E
I don't think evil wears a nametag, and the people out to take advantage of others have often learned very resourceful ways of hiding their purpose until it's too late. That's why you find so many pedophiles in jobs that give them access to children - they're not stupid, that would make it much easier for the rest of us to avoid them.
But I do think we all have a sense about people, an immediate reaction, and we often ignore it. We think we're being silly or we don't want to offend anyone and that's usually how we get into trouble.
In the eighties, my mom worked downtown in an office. She was just going to get on the elevator after a late lunch, so there weren't too many people in the lobby (as they were already back up at work). She got in the elevator and a man got in right after her and she got skittish. She thought she was being stupid and paranoid, but at the last second she got off the elevator. And she beat herself up over that decision all day, thinking she was being silly. The next day she found out someone from another office was raped on the elevator.
You might offend some innocent person by crossing the street or walking the other way, but then again, it's easier to get over being offended than it is to get over being attacked.
I could've used not to know that statistic. *shudder*
Sexual harassment should not lead to successful career; it should lead to being immediately fired, never to come back. That's hell to deal with, just the day to day of it constantly there is torture.
As far as sexual abuse, I gotta tell you: the figures I hear, even the low ones, are HUGE. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if there's some latent survivalist connection that a few have not evolved past.
I really don't know. I don't understand it. I have tears in my eyes just thinking of it. It makes me completely nauseous.
Hi Merry:
I think women, especially, are culturally trained to be more polite, to make less waves, and are therefore less likely to trust their gut. Thank God your mother listened to hers.
E
Hi Spy:
When I saw where Editor #2 landed, I mean the sheer level of his success . . . I wanted to throw up. Honest to God. Because 25 years ago or not . . . people have to know their behavior is wrong.
As for abuse statistics, if my circle of friends is any indication, the numbers are catastrophic.
E
While I was at university, I had a part time job in a catering firm. One day the boss/owner made a pass at me. I politely declined as he was married and anyway I wasn't interested. After that, he constantly called me a lesbian in front of everyone. The inuendos got so unpleasant that I had to leave. My friend stayed on and eventually ended up sleeping with him so she wouldn't lose her job.
I still think about the creep all these years later.
suzanne:
I worked in a bank when I was 22. It was a story and a half all the insanity there. For YEARS it bothered me--I think the injustice of it all. You like to think that bad karma gets instant payback. But it doesn't. Sometimes it takes years.
E
The only reason I try not to park next to a van is because I have zero vision in one eye and have a hard time seeing around those mothers. (I sure miss station wagons.) That said, usually when I come back out of a store, there's a van or monster truck parked on either side of my car.
Anyway, back to topic. I worked as a slave for lawyers most of my life, before I decided "enough of this crap!" and quit to pursue writing dream. Let me tell you, CREEPS IN ARMANI! Sexual harassers, pedophiles, and abusers; some wearing the black robes. That's not why I quit - once I learned of a person's creepiness I steered clear. I quit because of the family situations I dealt with. People suck at times.
And it doesn't surprise me that a sexual harasser would rise to the top, as your Creep No. 2 did. One must remember that sexual harassers are smooth talkers, yet, keep in mind what goes around comes around. (Grim Reaper's following that guy, ready to shove him into the throes of hell at his last breath.)
P.S. I remember that Saratoga Springs case (I'm a New Yorker). Not something you'd expect from a sleepy town like Saratoga Springs, but with WWW one can live in a monastery and still get porn.
kath:
I have learned justice/law is never blind and it's such a hotbed of corruption . . . I am sure you are glad to be free of it.
And yes, the Internet means you can find whatever your sickest perversions are 24/7, and sadly, I think some people who might not act on their sickness in real life . . . somehow don't associate the evilness of their crime with images.
E
Thanks. The wind is howling outside and there are all kinds of creepy noises in our building. Probably a serial killer
Reading the comments I just realized my one connection, although they aren't really serial killers.
My elementary school librarian later moved to Colorado, where she turned the library into a place where students hung out during lunch. Unfortunately, that school was Columbine and many of the kids she was close with died in that library.
From what I heard, she had gone home at lunch to let her dogs out and was driving back when the school was evacuated. She was the first adult a lot of the students saw and many of them used her cell phone to call their parents.
Melanie:
Wow . . . may not be a serial killer story . . . but chilling nonetheless.
E
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