Rebel, Rebel
So I often posit . . . why do you write? Why do I write? And really, if I was to be utterly honest, it's because I am not particularly suited to any other job. Full-time writing in some ways is utterly non-conforming. You don't punch a clock, don't have a lunch hour, don't even have to DRESS if you don't want. You can listen to music--LOUD--if you want. You can eat at your desk and not have to worry that someone who annoys you is going to drop by and want to chat. Demon Baby doesn't count. He is a Demon, but he's not ANNOYING. More like a whirling dervish of mayhem. But no, not annoying. In fact, he is rather funny.
So . . . yesterday . . . Oldest Son comes to me and says he wants to cut his hair. I am crushed. His hair is longer than mine by a bit, and it's got curls and is golden, and man . . . the kid's got good hair. To his grandparents' credit . . . not once have either of them nagged him about cutting his hair even though it's longer than his sisters'. "It's hair," has been their motto. OTHER people seem bugged by my kid's hair. I've seen older women, in particular, give him the evil eye. In fact, two weeks ago in Wal-Mart an old woman did just that--quite obviously, in fact. Then she gave ME the evil eye, like what kind of other am I to let my kid have long hair, and I glared at her, pulled him to me, and said, "I THINK YOUR HAIR IS AWESOME. HOPE THE CHICKS DIG IT." And now he wants to cut it. He's really into Ninjitsu, so I wonder if it's just hot. I told him to pull it in a ponytail, but nope. So . . . he's getting it cut. Maybe I will post before and after pictures.
So I thought about my paragraph one and my paragraph two. I don't like conforming. I don't know WHAT it is. I really don't. Sometimes I just don't like conforming for the SAKE of not conforming. And neither, frankly, do any of my friends. I once had a party with my family and friends and I looked around, and commented, "Do you REALIZE, not ONE person in this room has a real job?"
So I wonder, as I often do, is it a chicken and egg thing. Do I write for a living because no one would actually HIRE me? Or did my nonconforming nature send me off in search of a career for a nonconformist? I don't know.
Which brings me to the 4th of July. The great thing about America is it accepts us nonconformists. It lets people like me march on Washington, D.C. in the hopes of getting arrested in protest, Demon Baby in a backback. I wave my flag just like the next guy--oh, but maybe not quite, because LAST 4th, I think I might have painted Baby Girl's hair red, white, and blue.
Either way . . . Happy 4th to all. And remember, the founding fathers . . . they were rebels.
And do you write because you're rebellious? Is there a nonconformist in you just dying to get out?
29 comments:
Oh, gosh, I am so contrary. If everyone is going in one direction, my first instinct will be to go in the other. Although sometimes I get stuck in teaching mode and will start being what other people need 24 hours a day instead of being myself.
Incidentally, that's why I don't brainstorm with people. For some reason, if other people give me an idea, I CAN'T use it. No matter how much I like it, I just can't bring myself to use it. Which is crazy. But that's how contrary I am.
Hi Spy:
I have the same instincts sometimes (not about using ideas, but about going in the opposite direction). I think that's why I like to be alone so much.
E
I suppose I live my independent, nonconformist existence vicariously through my PI character. Maybe someday I'll work up the nerve to quit my "real" job and write full time.
A seven-figure advance would help. :)
PS: Forgot to say, I hear you on your son. DH has the most beautiful head of hair. I LOVE it long and curly and thick and shiny and black. (He's much older and has TONS less gray hair; it makes me mad!) He hates long hair. When I cut his hair, I barely cut it. He hates that, and goes and gets it short, short, short at the barber.
LOL, I'm a rebel! And I'd love to see the before and after pics of your son. I love how fiercely you love them. I'm a mom that loves that way too.
And on the writing part, I'm a dreamer that believes everyone has a talent or two they can cultivate or drop by the wayside. I really wanna use mine. It's like a warm sweater when it's cold thing. Familiar and mine.
As my recent bailing out on a $70G a year gig where I could work out of the house might suggest, I have problems being part of any organization even if the reins are really, really loose. It's probably a mental problem.
So yeah, in a lot of ways I'm a nonconformist.
Happy 4th to you and yours.
Jude:
Seven figures . . . . yeah, that would help.
E
Spy:
I am so sad. I thought maybe when he woke up today, he would have changed his mind, but no, he is determined to cut it.
E
ladonna:
Yes. It's a fierce kind of love.
:-)
E
Mark:
I thought of YOU as I wrote this! LOL!
E
Hey Travis:
You, too. Hope you get to see some great fireworks.
E
Definitely a non-conformist-- and though I've tolerated strict dress codes and major group think (over a decade as a flight attendant)- I'm so glad it's over!
Happy 4th to you and yours!
I adore the long hair. I am crushed that he wants to cut it. I know it is supposed to annoy us, "the mothers of teenagers" . . . perhaps that is one reason he/they want to cut it . . . it does not have the desired effect -- I compliment it rather than roll my eyes or make comments about it! GL
I'm not sure that I'm conformist or non-conformist - but I do what I want, regardless of what other people are doing to conform or not conform.
I have a day job because it works for me to have one. When it stops working I'll stop having one.
I write because it is what I want to do. I don't do it because my friends do it (they don't, at all) and I don't do it because it doesn't conform. I write because I have stories in me that need telling and that is how I tell them.
I find it funny that everything I think of as being "non-conformist" actually conforms to some other group, alternative as it may be to the mainstream.
I wonder if there really is such a thing as non-conformist? And if there is, could we actually think it up? Language gives us our world and we understand our world by relating the unknown with the known... so, inside of language, is it really possible to invoke non-conformist?
*wanders off to ponder the question*
Hi Alyson:
I think one reason I hate "corporate" is that you need "permission" to take a sick day or a day off. I hate asking for permission. Group think--BAD!
:-)
E
Hi GL:
Well . . . I think he's just HOT, it's summer, and my suggestion to wear a ponytail isn't sitting with him as a teenage BOY. Go figure. I told him to turn it into deadlocks. He didn't dig that idea either, but frankly, I think that would be cool.
E
ewoh:
Well, here's the thing. Since most of my friends are pretty left of center, off-kilter, etc.. . . In a sense, I conform to them.
As my best friend and I discussed last night . . . hair color. We have to TELL our hairdressers, "We don't want colors that exist in nature." I.e., I want to go more plum/purple, not a "real" hair color. But the fact that both I and my best friend think that way (hers ranges from purple to pink to orange to . . . whatever . . . ) means I'm not terribly original.
E
You might say I'm a nonconformist.
Hannibal . . .
Yes. Your food choices are quite distinct. And I thought I had unusual taste . . . .
E
Been a non-conformist most of my life, which is why I often wonder how I ever held onto a 9 - 5 job without committing suicide for as long as I did.
And that's why self-employment as a writer suites me. Sure, there's still gonna be rules and angst, such as submission guidelines, what's selling, what's not, but the core of it suits my soul - that's all that matters.
kath:
I worked in publishing for years, which is filled with nonconformists. :-) But it's still punching a clock, still an office without fresh air or windows. You get the idea. Much happier now.
E
Interesting you should bring this up now. Over the next few months, there is a chance my nonconformity will show in a HUGE way. I'm hoping it won't, but you never know. People tend to get all bent in the head over those who don't conform to the norms. Well, they'll just have to get over it. ;-)
Real jobs are my poison. Or maybe my inability to conform (do busy work) makes me the questionable element?
Happy belated 4th, E.
"Supposed to" went out the window in my life a long time ago. I think it was simply due to life circumstances. I was a conformist up until that point,and it was truly a shock to me to find out I didn't have to be - or that there were other options. I caught on quick.
To me, writing is how I conform to myself - the only place I turn for the "supposed to's" in my life.
Hi Marcia:
Can't wait to see!
E
HEATHER!!!
Feeling better, girlfriend??
E
Amy:
I was raised by nonconformists. So I never felt that pressure. Thank goodness. It's freeing to be different.
E
Slowly but Shirley. ;-)
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