The Right Fork
At some point in childhood or life, you progress from the kid table to the grownup table. You go to your first fancy event where you are presented with fingerbowls with floating lemon slices . . . and a plethora of forks.
For me, living in Bermuda and then traveling in Europe as a child, my parents made sure I had a basic fork education by first grade. They were very clear about the forks. Start on the outside, move your way in. Don't try to "keep" the fork for the next course--that's why you've got so many of them.
But in the end, you learn if you absent-mindedly "keep" a fork, the entire banquet is not going to erupt into a an explosion of pointing. You will not be banished.
So it goes with the query. I see a lot of "shoulds," and I've even seen discussion about this one agent who loathes the "Thank you for your time" closing. But I generally regard it as simply . . . learn the fork basics, but don't worry too horribly if you accidentally keep a fork. You're not dooming yourself. The basics--moving out to in--are have a hook, do your homework, make sure you get the fundamental information across like genre and main characters and plot. Then move out of the way and hope you get to eat at the grownup table.
Beyond that, like so much of publishing, there's actually a giant craps game going on in a small room adjacent to the banquet hall. So don't lose sleep over forks.
Thoughts? Care to share the opening line of your pitch for feedback?
31 comments:
A great post.
Absolutely. I know a fair number of your readers also read the BookEnds LLC blog, and even though Jessica and Kimberly are fairly specific about what they don't like in a query, I'm fairly certain they won't automatically reject your query if you end it with, "Thank you for your consideration," a line that Jessica apparently dislikes.
I think it all comes down to so many of us (published, as well as unpublished) think there's a secret code or secret handshake, or if I just do A, B,C or D, then X, Y, or Z will happen.
Nope. Be polite. Be neat. Be professional. Get to the point.
Forks, I got those figured out, more or less.
Damned water bowls with lemon slices? Nope, sorry. What am I supposed to do with that?
And as a friend of mine pointed out, butter is not sorbet. Yuck.
But, really, when IS it okay to eat chicken with your fingers?
Tracy Weber has always been married. Always that is, until she's 38, divorced and the only dating mom in her very married suburb.
I read *all* the agent blogs. I am a google, Agent Query and Publishers Marketplace whore. I realized a long time ago that in terms of agents -- some want it all about them up front (why you are querying them, what you know about them), some want it at the end. Some agents want off-beat, some want straight-up.
All of them want a query that hooks them and great writing to back it up.
I've read too many times "it's not the kind of query that usually gets to me, but it was just so good..."
Which means as long as you know the rules of etiquette -- realize they may get tossed out with the shrimp fork!
I swear to God I'm signing my next query with "Ciao baby!"
So many rules...I was never too good at rules. It all comes down to fear. The last thing we want to do it offend an agent. We're like a class full of kids with arms in the air screaming "Pick me! Pick me!"
:)
Twenty years after crawling from the fiery wreckage of a chartered jet and witnessing his wife and daughter perish, a top recording artist turned private eye makes a horrifying discovery: the crash was not an accident.
To me, the hook is the main thing. One or two sentences with the story premise and a little bit about the main character. Everything else is pretty much a dog and pony show. With a query, all the agent needs to know is whether or not s/he might be able to sell this thing. If s/he thinks she might be able to, then you'll get a request for more material.
Wow, Jude. Nice one!
I have to feel for Jessica on that point. It was pretty much an offhand observation, like saying it's more appropriate to address the query to a person rather than to whom it may concern. It's just been blown to HUGE proportions across the internet.
Every time she's tried to set things right again, she's just gotten in deeper. She's said repeatedly that she would never, ever even think of rejecting a query for closing like that. She's just of the opinion it's more appropriate to thank AFTER the agent has actually spent some time. That's all, that's it, LOL. She doesn't hate thank yous at all.
I'm pretty sure it's going to haunt her the rest of her life.
I'd share my hook, but I'm still sulking because David Baldacci did it WAY better, out of the ballpark better, totally out of my league better, in his June release:
Dick, I need a war.
Mark:
We all have things that irk us in writing, but what editor could make a career rejecting books simply for the "wrong" closing line? Again, there is no secret handshake, though, sure, sometimes it feels that way.
Amy:
First . . . love the pitch. I "get" it. Second, YES. You summarized it wonderfully. Sure, some people love quirky pitches. Some want you to get to the point. But unless it's WAY out there, or truly horrific, it shouldn't sink you. The one exception, I suppose, is the hook. You MUST sound different.
E
Aimless:
Love it. Ciao, Baby!
:-)
E
Jude:
You're right. Absolutely right. In the end, can the agent sell it?
E
Spy:
Yeah. What a hook!
As for Jessica. . . you know, it's just one of those things about cyberspace. I think I can pretty much write whatever here, and really? WHo gives a shit? I mean, yes, we all discuss writing, but I'm not BUYING anything. But agents and editors with blogs seem to have SO much weight because, like Mark said, every line is being dissected for the clue to the secret handshake.
Seven years after meeting my husband, I found myself living in Mexico without friends, without a job, and clinging to the belief that love was enough to get you through anything.
I've read both sides of the argument and no matter what they say, I will thank an agent for their time at the end of my query. I'm a polite person and it would go against my nature not to.
That said, I spent 4 hours researching agents' sites and while they may prefer different structures, they all want the same thing. Doing your homework shows them you're serious, and since it's all right there online, it'd be silly not to.
Thanks, Sarah!
Miss Snark actually had a formula for writing hooks:
X is the main guy.
Y is the bad guy.
They meet at Z and all L breaks loose.
If they don’t solve Q, then R starts.
If they do solve Q, then it’s L square.
I've never used it, but I think it's neat.
For Frankie Kinnessey, it’s hard enough being the new kid going into eighth grade, let alone trying to fit in while hiding the fact that her mother’s a witch.
I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not nearly as cool as it sounds. Frankie’s mom can’t move things with her mind or cast spells that, you know, actually do anything – at least not as far as Frankie can tell. She’s a Wiccan and it’s a bonafide religion, even though most regular people mix myth with reality or think she dances naked in the moonlight.
Okay, I gave you more than the first sentence :-)
I think the reason we obsess over these little 'rules' is because they're a thing we can easily control. You can't control whether or not your voice will resonate with your ideal agent or publisher. Quite honestly, I think a lot of newer writers obsess more over crossing the t's and dotting the i's in their query than they do over the pages of their manuscript...
And then, to simply say, write well, well, hell, don't we all think we're doing that? Give me the secret handshake already!!!
:-)
Love your first sentence, Merry.
From there, I would try to elaborate on the main character and her conflict. What makes this character unique? What about this plot would make people in bookstores curious enough to part with $25? You have a very limited amount of space in a query, so you really have to make every word count. Great start, though!
I got nothin' in my hook bag. I'm writing something new, and my seat of the pants style keeps the hook moot.
But I'll tell ya what I love. Great title. I'm about to run out and purchase David Sedaris's new one: When You Are Engulfed in Flames. What's not to like?
Hi Jude,
Thank you for the input, and you're absolutely right - definitely have to pare down to the bare bone essentials for the query... I've actually just started writing this one, and I'm a seat of the pants person... the more I try to plot it out ahead, the farther away from where I want to go it gets... if that makes sense... I'll have a better sense of where to go with the query I think, when I've finished the first draft... I was just playing with the pitch a little here.
But I do definitely appreciate the input - so thank you again.
I've been so excited about my new project that putting a hook together never occurred to me. When I'm ready to submit, that's when I usually come up with one.
I stopped worrying about the forks a while back. As long as I have the basics down and a strong query to boot, I sleep just fine. Anyone who stresses over their query is bound to have an ulcer before they send out their full. There comes a time when you just have to let it go and hope for the best.
ooh Erica, when the mood strikes you...give us your thoughts on titles! I love a good title too.
hehehe. I don't get why "thank you for your consideration" is a big deal. It's just politeness. I guess I just think it's really rude to say: "Here's my story, ok bye" It's like give me give me give me, with no gratitude for the time someone is putting in to consider your query. Even if it's just 30 seconds.
I think "thank your time/consideration" is simply and acknowledgment that "Hey, I know a lot of stuff comes across your desk and I'm adding to it, just wanted you to know I appreciate you looking at this. And I appreciate your time is crunched."
Maybe it's become a meaningless thing tacked onto query letters now. But some of us actually do mean it, and feel like it's incredibly rude to end it otherwise.
LMFAO Aimless! hahahaha @ "I'm signing my next query with Ciao, baby!" *Chants 'do it do it* hahaha
Oh and crap, here's the opening of my query hook. Don't know how I missed that part of your post:
Soon after buying the antebellum home she's fantasized about since childhood, Anna Worthington discovers a dangerously seductive incubus named Luc who is trapped in the house by a fifty year old curse. To rid herself of her problem house guest she'll call on a priest, gypsies, ghost hunters, and the coven of witches from lust bunny hell. All she has to do is resist Luc long enough to break the spell so they can go their separate ways. If she doesn't, she could die, and that would be the best case scenario
Melanie:
I love your blog title--is that the book title for what you wrote here?
Merry:
Love it . . . though I think you have to root it back to Frankie when it comes time to send it out. But I would most certainly keep reading.
Another subtle thing that's wonderful, and I presume utterly intended, Marry . . . is Frankie's NAME. You conjure up a certain type of young girl with that name versus, say, Frances, or a more formal name. I use masculine or gender-neutral names a lot.
E
Hi Marcia:
I always start with the hook. It's for me the surest way to know I have a potential "hot" book idea.
Kath:
David Sedaris is the most brilliant writer I've enjoyed in a long while. Oldest and I sit around laughing OUT LOUD while reading each other our favorite lines from Me Talk Pretty . . . .
E
Zoe:
Love the list of possible cures she's tried . . . lust bunny hell. LOL!
E
hmmm... well, here is the pitch I wrote for my first unfinished manuscript:
Could a one-legged thief and a blind witch save the universe?
The last thing they do isn't fall in love, but its close. Hancock James, a legacy of the Jesse James clan, has taken up his distant relative’s occupation. Unfortunately, he has the same luck his predecessor had. Hancock's last “job” explodes in his face, literally. When he wakes up in the hospital he has lost his leg, his money and his wife.
I have little kids at home... I'm happy if we use forks at all. The fact that I don't get out much is as much a factor of having kids as it is that I don't much like going out. :)
At least not to places with more than one fork at dinner.
LOL, love the "craps game" comment. All I know today, is I so don't look forward to the query stage again.
Still on vacation, Erica. Been fun in the FL sun!
Erica - sort of. It comes from the opening paragraph of the book. Right now the title is What Do You Mean I Can't Wear a Bathing Suit to the Beach?, but I think that's way too long. I have thought about just using the blog title, since they tie in together anyways.
Ewoh:
He sounds like an intriguing character!!!!
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