The Two Sides of Me
Okay, so I returned home from vacation to discover while I was gone, an electrical storm took out both my phone and my Internet (I have a Triple Play pack from my cable provider). No dialtone. No blog. No NY Times online. No nothing.
I was definitely a junkie needing technology detox. The cable company wasn't particularly interested in my tale of woe. So no, I didn't get it all back until a few minutes ago.
And what did I do while detoxing off the Internet? I cleaned my office. Or at least half of it. I can now look to my right and see the shelves of the Writer Chick I Want To Be. You know, the one with all her files neat, who can find a pen when she needs one, whose books all face spine out, neatly aligned.
I am not that Chick.
But for now, the right half of my office is that writer's office. The other half is in total disarray, worse than usual. That side belongs to the Writer Chick With A Demon Baby. The writer who drinks too much coffee, sleeps too little, and can never find a pen.
We all have those Two Side to us, don't you think? There's the Me Who Wants To Go To Yoga Class, and has her mat and yoga gear. Who breathes deep and lights candles. And there's the Me Who Cannot Escape the Demon Baby Long Enough to SHOWER, let alone take a yoga class.
There is the Me Who Has a Garden, and the Me Who Has Weeds.
But it's most obvious, this two-sided me, in my office right now.
So what two Me's live in You?
29 comments:
The bright, shrewd, businessman writer on one hand,
and the lazy, blog-reading, web-surfing, do-anything-to-get-out-of-the-office slacker.
Mark:
I have the battles with the Web surfing chick, too. I got a lot more done with no Internet, in one regard.
E
I'm the outside me and the inside me. The outside me likes to socialize, go out on the town, be in the midst of a gazillion of my closest friends. The inside me likes to stay in pajamas, at home with the computer on my lap and the TV on.
They play tug of war all.the.time.
Right now, inside me almost has outside me in the mud.
OOPS, that was me, but I'm no way Anonymous, I just hit the button too fast before "signing in." That would be the over-zealous me, as opposed to the slow and meticulous me.
Right now as I'm reading this I am starving so I'd say the hungry eat all you can side is about to persevere over the but you really need to lose some weight side of myself.
AMY:
LOL!!!! I love that. I have an overzealous me I fight quite a bit. The overzealous me has BAGS and BAGS of yarn in her closet for knitting . . . and the other me realizes she could knit until she's 80 and not use all that yarn.
E
Travis:
SO many people have that battle so you are in good company!!!
E
I don't think we can write fiction honestly wothout sometimes tapping into unpleasant sides of ourselves. At one point my PI character becomes judge, jury, and executioner, shooting a bad man he's rendered helpless.
The rational, compassionate side of me would always argue against vigilante justice; but, apparently, there's a side of me who thinks it's sometimes--if not the right thing to do--at least emotionally satisfying to dole it out on the spot.
Maybe facing our dark sides in fiction helps us squelch them in real life.
There's the crazy, spontaneous, fun-loving me that hardly ever shows up because of the responsible, organized, down-to-earth me. Thinking about an extra diamond stud in my upper ear but will I ever get around to doing it?Would love to give up everything and go back to participating in Volunteer Service Abroad as I did in my youth, but there's husband, son and an elderly mother plus the rest of my family here in New Zealand. So, will I do it? Probably not. Two sides of the one? Defintely.
Hi Jude:
Hmm . . . I hadn't thought of characters playing out our other sides when I wrote the post, but mine often do.
E
Suzanne:
I pierced--MYSELF--my left ear five times. GO FO IT. ;-)
E
P.S. I have thought of living elsewhere many, MANY times, but my family holds me here. I would miss them way too much.
Ugh, the internet! I read somewhere that human beings get a shot of some chemical or hormone every time they visit/learn something new. The internet is truly addicting; it's not just an expression.
I've got weeds, too. And I love to teach but there is nothing more torturous to me than listening to lots of mistakes, LOL. Let's see, I'll go and sit with a friend in a cafe and chat for hours, but I won't chat on the phone or even call them. If I write an email to someone, it will be really long. If we talk on the phone instead, I won't be able to think of a thing to say. :-)
spy:
You definitely have two Me's there. ;-)
I hate the phone. Weeks go by when I won't answer it. But I love email.
E
Well, there's ME.
And then there's DEADLINE ME.
Me is clean, organized, healthy, and sociable.
BUT-- I haven't seen her all month since I'm on DEADLINE, which has made me into a sloppy, disorganized, completely antisocial monster who just ate a frozen yoghurt and called it dinner. Luckily, she only has 2 more weeks to rule my life until this manuscript's done and the real ME can return!
Alyson:
I know DEADLINE ME very well.
My Deadline Me is quite hideous.
E
Me1 wants to succeed, sees the path and wants to run right down it to meet my goals.
Me2 hangs back, afraid. Me2 wonders if I can really swim with the big fishes without making a fool of myself.
I'm right with you, aimless! That fear of success/fear of failure flipping coin.
You are only supposed to have two sides?
Since National's is coming up I'll second Amy. There is a side of me so full of life and bursting ALL the time. Who can talk for hours upon hours and still find more things to talk about.
And then there is the anti-social me. Who needs quiet. No. Shhhhh. No. Just, shhhh. *sigh* Why are you talking to me? Isn't there someone else you can bug? Jeez. People.
And since I'm cleaning there is a side that wants everything to be neat and to stay that way forever.
The other side, "I'll get it in a month." Or, "Just stuff it in that drawer."
Let's not get started on the writer.
I know, sometimes my comments don't seem even remotely connected to the post. It's my Christopher Walken side.
Creative side and business-y side. I'm really seriously considering self publishing my first novel.
And not because I can't get an agent or publisher. I really haven't made much of an effort. It's half hearted at best. I feel a really passionate drive to self-publish, because I like the idea of the challenge of it and the experience of it. And I think I could learn a lot from it.
aimless and sarah:
I know that is such a common two-sided monster. I have never had that. I don't know if it's because I have pushed myself so hard and never stopped to think about it. I don't know. When I do public speaking, that's about the only time I do think of it because I fear appearing a "failure" or a total ass because I don't particularly like public speaking.
E
Melissa:
Oh . . . really, I probably have a hundred Me's in here. :-)
E
zoe:
Just wrote ya on your blog. :-)
E
hehe saw your comments. Appreciate your input. understand what you're saying, but I'm an entrepreneur. I HAVE to do it this way. It's part of who I am. :)
Also, publishing one book myself doesn't mean I'll publish every book myself. but this is how I want to do this one.
Hey Erica, I just got back from vacation too. The only kinks I'm trying to work out, puter-wise, is I can't access my email. Hate that.
The example of your office is me totally. Mine is a mess now, and I don't even have the one clean side. This week will be a drive toward clearing my space a little. I also have this adventurous side, I'd love to explore the world. Alas, you need deeper pockets than I have now. Someday....
ladonna:
My pockets are not particularly deep right now, either.
:-)
E
There is the family side of me and the lonely side of me. I have to live with one side to appreciate the other. It doesn't matter whether it is alone time I'm appreciating or family time.
The nice thing about blogs is that I can visit them, enjoy that blogger for a little while, and then move on to either family or me time. It is a distant type of social connection that makes me feel less different and more normal.
richmond:
Me, too. I love the comraderie of different blogs.
E
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