The Family
It's a writer's curse.
People-watching is an obsession.
So I took the kids out for dinner this week because I had the carpets cleaned and I didn't want them inhaling chemicals. My kids and I were sitting in a restaurant, and I saw "them" the second I walked in. The Family.
Who were they? This Family? I have no idea. But I spent the entire night wondering, inventing a back story for them. The "father"--could have been the grandfather (but I didn't really think so), could have been the mom's boyfriend--was maybe 55, in a very formal suit--in a restaurant that didn't require one--BELIEVE me, if I took Demon Baby there, you didn't need to dress. He held his hands "just so"--cuff links gleaming. He moved with precision, never cracking a smile, posture erect. Mom--no wedding ring--a little overweight, no makeup, nursing uniform. Three kids. One a sulking 16-year-old. One a pretty little girl, one a tween boy. They looked normal enough--except for the father figure. I noticed no one laughed. No one smiled. Father kept rubbing his temples. The little girl kept looking at him, as if deferring to him on everything. In fact, the entire table had a tension about it. I didn't know if mom and silver-haired suit man were dating and he was trying to get to know the kids--because it didn't quite seem like they belonged to him. But the tension . . . I'll say it. He just looked COLD. Icy cold.
Compare that to my table. Me kissing Baby Girl, kids laughing. Demon Baby trying to strip out of his clothes. LOTS of talking. Kids competing to tell me their stories. Brother and sister talking to each other. A lot of hand-holding and leaning close to hear stories better.
After I paid and left, I found The Family kept coming back to me. Who were they? Why did no one smile? Why was he so exacting? So stiff? So uninterested in what the children said--which was admittedly very little. Why was no one engaged with each other? Except to reprimand the children for elbows on the table. Why was no one HAPPY?
Now know that I do this ALL the time.
And that's where characters some from.
So, 'fess up. Are you a chronic people-watcher? Do you invent stories for them? Do you wonder about The Family you see out in public? About the man just left of center you see every day? 'Cause trust me, I am still convinced there's a serial killer down the block with body parts in his freezer. He may be harmless. But I kind of don't think so. And if the cops ever come and say, "Did you ever notice Strange Neighbor?" I won't be the one on TV going, "He was so unassuming." I will be the lady saying, "I'm a novelist. Pegged that one two years ago on Halloween. You should have come to me first, guys." Can't help it. It's the curse.
How 'bout you?
24 comments:
Absolutely. You know that scene in "Wonder Boys" where they're at the bar and making up a story about the black guy with the funky haircut? That's me. (Well, no, I'm not the black guy with the funky haircut. I got no haircut. Nor am I black. But you knew what I meant, right?)
But when I see people together, families or couples or whatever, I'm always trying to figure out the dynamics between them and creating a story and Leanne and I afterward will often discuss, "Did you see..."
I'll be honest. I watch and listen all the time. I often make (gulp) assumptions, quickly to realize how I'm probably wrong (slaps own wrist) and then I figure out what the real story may be. I wonder about the people behind counters most of all - like the middle-aged women at Starbucks making lattes or sliciing the bologna at my grocery store. I think, did you always want to work in a deli? I always wonder about people's secret habits, like smoking or something cool like the butcher who just might collect stamps and be a lover of classical music. I like to constantly remind myself that people usually are not what they seem.
Mark:
I loved that scene because it felt so real to me--and that movie is one of my top-ten faves.
And yes--it's not usually career guesses or anything for me. It's dynamics.
E
Amy:
True story . . . when daughter and I left to drive her to college, we were facing a 14-hour drive. We stopped at our local Starbucks and bought an obscene amount of food/coffee. The guy behind the counter--portly older man, very handsome and friendly--looked at us a little askance. I said, "Long road trip." We got to chatting and we mentioned she was going off to music school--next thing we know, he's telling us his whole family are all these famous musicians and he grew up going to Tanglewood, and he played the trumpet and so on. It was so interesting. After we left, I kind of assummed maybe he did the job to keep busy (looked retirement age) or for extra income. But he was delightful and had this whole back story that you would never know.
E
I turn people into spies, LOL. I'm guessing that's no great surprise. The more normal, the more I start weaving a story for them.
I do like to figure out the power dynamics, too. And when I play a bit of poker, I start looking at everyone in the grocery store and imagining how far I could push them before they would fold, LOL. I start "reading" them. It's a little weird.
spy:
Gosh . . . I have never thought of turning people into SPIES! Now, I'll be hooked. LOL!
E
Love to people watch! And speculate! I think it should be an Olympic sport. Writers would probably never win medals because their imaginations are too vivid.
Since there was no wedding ring, maybe he was an ex-husband or an uncle or a lawyer or or or.......
Or she might have taken her wedding ring off for work and not put it back on yet.
I do this all the time too. I find it especially helpful to make up stories about the people who guy flying by me on the freeway at 90mph, or who shoot ahead of a long line of just-merged cars to take the front spot. I can either give them a sob story and then forgive them for driving like a jerk, or I can give them a horror story and sit back and laugh. It's all fun. And unavoidable.
Maybe a recent death in the family?
The character Rose on TV's Two and a Half Men does this.
Of course, she's psychotic...
Hi Anti-wife:
I don't know. It said "family" to me. But yes, Olympic sport, indeed. I'm incurable, I think.
E
jennifer:
I thought of that. :-)
In the last couple of years, I learned to "let go" of irritation when people are jerks on the road (same thing--I think "They must be in a hurry for x or y reason)--except when my kids are in the car, in which case I get very mad that other people are endangering my family by tailgating or whatever.
heather:
Didn't get that vibe. But you never know.
E
jude:
And your point is? LOL!
E
Oh I love to people watch. The only thing I love more is eavesdropping... there's just something about voice, the accent the inflection, the various phrases people use that are specific to them. I love it when people don't look like what they sound - like the woman in polished business dress who uses slang or broken English...
Mostly I love to eavesdrop when the speaker is full of shit - you'd be amazed how often that happens and how many people have obvious tells...
My mom and I used to make a game of this when I was young . . .and I've been doing it ever since!
Wow, the man in the restaurant "bothered" me, really did. He was too steel, too demanding without saying words. All I wanted to do, when I read this, is go hug those kids and make them smile ya know? And I wanted to smack the lady for letting his presence affect them so. As you see, I'm a child advocate big time.
And yes, I do the watching too. Can't help it, it's in my DNA. And your table is so much like mine...love that.
People watching, studying, listening - I do it all the time. It's part of the reason that I love reality shows. Not like those people are realistic, but they are great characters. My friends don't understand that.
I stare, too, which I'm trying to alter to something a bit more socially acceptable. I make eye contact and nod hello to most of the people I walk past - strangers, homeless, doesn't matter. I love to acknowledge the humanity of someone who gets ignored on a regular basis.
When I first meet people, I tend to be more quiet as I study them. Later, it's hard to shut me up.
I think I'd start writing a VC Andrews book around that family.
I absolutely make up stories about people I see in public. I drive my kids crazy with this.
Everyone is a serial killer.
The woman in the mousey dress just killed her husband and needs a place to hide the body.
That man with the dreadlocks behind the deli counter is one of the few people left behind when the world ends. How will he handle it?(Okay that last one I really did write)
Most are just random thoughts that pop into my head. If I'm around boring people my mind always wanders to the strangest places...
I like to ask people what they do for a living, then pepper them with so many questions, they think I want to do it too. I did this to an FBI agent whose job it was to interrogate me, and afterwards he sent me materials on how to become an FBI agent!
You're not going to get any sleep sitting next to me on an airplane.
merry:
I like watching the disconnect between what is said--and someone's eyes or body language.
E
alyson:
Oh . . . you had one of those "cool" moms. :-)
E
ladonna:
Oh, you have a chaos table, too. LOL!
E
stephen:
Oh . . . I would HATE to sit next to you on an airplane. That's why God invented iPods and headphones. :-)
E
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